


A loyal viewer

by lockedlocke



Series: Camboy!Steve & Loyal Viewer Bucky [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bearded Steve Rogers, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Thunder thighs, Camboy Steve Rogers, Happy Bucky Barnes, Happy Ending, Happy Steve Rogers, Hotel Sex, Idiots in Love, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers Friendship, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Punk Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is the dad friend, Sex Positive Steve Rogers, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers is Not Captain America, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, everybody is happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-08 00:14:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 39,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lockedlocke/pseuds/lockedlocke
Summary: At almost exactly eight thirty in the evening, Steve settles on the bed before his camera and the computer. He signs into his account on Chaturbate and clicks the button that starts his stream.





	1. A loyal viewer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [birdjay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdjay/gifts).



> Many thanks go to Birdjay, who's been a gem and helped me so much with this fic, both story wise, with editing out all my mistakes and planting the idea in my head in the first place. This fic wouldn't exist without you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At almost exactly eight thirty in the evening, Steve settles on the bed before his camera and the computer. He signs into his account on Chaturbate and clicks the button that starts his stream.

It’s a little bit past eight in the evening when Steve starts his computer. What follows after is a routine drilled into his spine. He flicks on the lamps and turns the one on the ceiling off, leaving the bedroom in a much warmer shade. For a moment he stands in front of the window and wonders if he should shut the curtains, but decides against it. The light of the traffic slowing down gives an authentic touch, he thinks.

He moves the box with toys to just underneath his desk, right to the edge of the bed to have them within reach, and puts the second box with presents right beside it. Steve grabs the empty bottle of lube from the desk and chucks it into the trash in the corner of his bedroom. Out of the dresser he pulls a packet of wet wipes and a new bottle of lube, this one is purple, and brings it over to the desk.

Steve takes his duvet off the bed and tossed it to the floor. Out of the wardrobe, he pulls out the first best cover he can find and spreads it on the bed. By then his computer has fully started. Sitting down in front of it, Steve spends the next few minutes logging in and checking through his email, which consists mostly of deals and offers to websites he shopped at for a grand total of one time. He deletes those and saves the one from Dominos with his own personalised voucher for a discount and free garlic bread. Who doesn’t love free garlic bread?

Setting up the cameras is easy enough. He hadn’t kicked his desk during the night when he had been sleeping, so they view everything that Steve wants to show for his viewers that evening. Next he chances out of his clothing, stained with bright neon colours from having painted earlier. Checking himself out in the mirror, he settles with a loose black top, showing off most of the muscles on his chest and thin straps over his broad shoulders. Indecisive of what sort of pants to wear, eventually he settles with just white boxer briefs. He gives his hair one last touch, and dabs a little bit of red lipstick on his lips to make them look more flushed.

His cell phone goes on silent, vibration off for good measure. Streaming is all about professionalism. It wouldn’t do good if he was texting while talking to his viewers. And he would feel awkward knowing that he sent away a message to Sam while there might be men holding their dicks in their hands with the image of Steve in front of them while he types a response.

At almost exactly eight thirty in the evening, Steve settles on the bed before his camera and the computer. He signs into his account on Chaturbate and clicks the button that starts his stream.

 

*

 

RedStar is amongst the first people to hop into the stream, and to see his name pop up amongst the online list makes Steve laugh. “That didn’t even take four minutes Red!”

Almost instantly RedStar begins to type a response.

**RedStar: Got a notification on for when you sign on**

**RedStar: Just for you ;)**

“Well.” Steve places a hand on his chest and leans in a little bit, smiling. “I’m flattered.” Steve makes a gesture to his computer screen. “And of course I’m always happy to see the rest of you all back here. And for those of you who are joining us for the very first time this rainy, rainy Wednesday evening, welcome and I hope you have a nice time, I’m The President. Is it even raining where you guys are?”

Some of them start to type responses to his question, while others stay not surprisingly quiet and lurk in the background. Steve makes sure to offer a comment on each and every single one, and spends the first fifteen minutes of his stream just talking to his viewers. Some drop out when they realise that it isn’t straight to the action, but some Steve ropes in by casually touching himself. Brushing his hands over his arms, touching his own chest and shifting every now and then, ensuring that the mystery of his muscles under the shirt enthralls them. It’s not until his viewers finally breach fifty, that one of them finally caves in and asks Steve if he can take off his shirt.

“Well, Rainbow Romance. I just might, if one of you tips me for it. That’s how it goes here.” Steve leans in to the camera and winks. It doesn’t take long for the ding in the chat to go off. It surprises him a little that Rainbow Romance isn’t the one to give him tokens, instead one of the lurkers by the name of graywisp that hasn’t said a single word in the chat that drops fifty tokens for him. It’s only two dollars and a half, but it’s still early in the night and Steve needs to do something to get them to pay.

“Thank you graywisp, but the others should thank you really.” He winks again and leans back a bit, brushing up his shirt from his abdomen. The hardest thing about streaming Steve had found out early out, was to get them to pay. Once the first sound of tokens went, and he had shown a willingness to act out for them, to fulfil their online fantasies, they would be more likely to pay, and more likely to drop him larger amount of tokens.

He has a couple of regular tippers, but they hardly ever get in the game until later in the show. They drop him a good amount of tokens, but after having followed Steve for many years they were the ones more likely to shell out three thousand tokens in one drop for a private stream. And during those he could earn well up to four hundred dollars, not even included what he made before they ask.

And then, there is RedStar.

RedStar, who had been there as one of Steve’s first viewers. All the way back when he had started his career in college. And who still watched him. He tipped well, often during the stream and would occasionally ask for a private stream. Mostly during the weekends however, so Steve wasn’t expecting it for that evening.

“A tease?!” Steve laughs at the comment that gets typed up, hand still under his shirt and grabs at his left boob, his shirt slid up his arm and showing his abdomen for the viewers but nothing more. “Well isn’t that the entire point of all this? Don’t you guys want to get teased?” He bites on his lower lip. Grinning all smug to them, rocking his hips a bit forward.

**RedStar has dropped 400 tokens.**

**RedStar: You’re terrible to us but god you’re worth it**

Steve laughs at that, and for a moment he can’t stop, not until it transforms itself into a giggle and he’s capable of controlling himself again. “You’re just too sweet Red.” Steve tells him, before he takes his shirt off.

 

*

 

An hour later Steve finds himself naked and propped up against his massive pillows, leaning back with his legs tucked underneath him. Knowing fully well that the position stretches the muscles in his thighs and makes them nicer to look at. He twists one of his nipples in between his thumb and index finger to a soft gasp, letting his chest rise. In his other hand he’s slowly, lazily almost, stroking his lubed dick.

He’s hard, and he’s been hard for a good fifteen minutes and thanks his stubborn teenage self for practicing so much self control. So much patience and so much stamina. It’s been of definite use. His viewer base has grown from fifty-two viewers, to a total of six hundred and sixty-two people all over the world watching just him. The thought of it sends fireworks out deep deep down in his gut.

The computer pings again, as it’s been doing every other minute since he stripped out of his boxer briefs and laid a hand on himself. He looks to the screen to see who’s the donator this time, and sees that he’s been given 275 tokens from a user named sinnamonRose. As thanks he twists his nipple again, pulling another low groan from him and ending in a shudder of a breath.

“That’s for you, Rose.” He mumbles to her, trying his best to keep his head on his shoulders and not to lose himself in the pleasure. “I know you like it.” Rose responds with a red heart emoticon. She’s one of Steve’s few female viewers, and for that he likes to give her a treat every now and then.

There’s others active in the chat in between the friendly donations he’s receiving. There’s viewers commenting his abs, there’s someone else telling him on repeat that he’s so hot at that moment, there’s others admiring his thighs, there’s someone else sharing that he’s jerking himself off at the same pace and there’s someone who would love to see Steve’s lips around his cock. And there’s Red, commenting on how he thinks that Steve’s beautiful like this, with that blush spreading over his cheeks and the way his hips move along to his touch.

And Steve is loving every single comment of adoration, every single compliment that he gets. It’s Red’s idea, just as Steve’s squeezing around the tip and whimpering, bringing his other hand down to his balls and gripping them slightly.

**RedStar: President pls pls fuck yourself? With the pink one pls you look so beautiful when you do**

“Oh.” Steve pants, he’s a bit surprised with the request, coming earlier than he usually gets it. But a glance at the top left of the screen tells him he’s already earned a little less than ten thousand tokens so far. Which he has to admit is pretty damn good for such a time. He could give in, call it an early night. “Yeah?” He coaxes, dropping his hand further down between his legs and to his ass. He presses against his entrance and moans. “Should I fuck myself?” He asks out loud for those who are to focused on him to read the chat that’s going on.

“Didn’t you want to see my ass again Kiley? Would you like to see me fuck myself?” He asks again, and his attempt to make others donate works. And within fifteen seconds there’s three users dropping him tokens. One’s 500, one’s 440 and Red drops him 600. It pushes him over ten thousand tokens, for five hundred dollars in a bit more than an hour, he could most definitely fuck himself and call it an early night.

“Since Red asked so nicely.” Steve removes his hand from between his legs, gives the tip of his cock one last squeeze before letting go. He sits back up and feels the heat radiating from his cheeks in a flush. He licks his lips again and gracefully moves closer to the desk. He grabs the pink toy from the gift box, sent to him once by a fan a few years ago and an old favorite of many and even Steve. He’s taken a liking to it enough that he uses it for his own pleasure on his days off.

He puts it on the bed for all to see and grabs the piece if plexiglass for it as well and leaves it there for anticipation. Steve takes the bottle of lube, all while still rocking his hips and makes sure that the camera gets a clear image of him squirting lube on his fingers. They might suggest that he fucks himself on the dildo, but he’s not about to do it within ten seconds. Sure, he likes nearly all forms of bottoming, but that doesn’t mean he finds himself ready to go in an instant.

Lubed up, his finger slides in easily and he throws back his head for a filthy low moan. He gives them that show for a little bit, and allows to lose himself in the pleasure of it. It’s when he hears the ding of another token drop that he gets pulled back to reality. “Sorry guys, lost myself for a moment.” He mutters with a breathy chuckle, licking his lips. “Except I’m not really sorry.”

He shuffles further back on the bed; pulling the piece of plexiglass in front of him. With his fingers still inside of him, Steve places the toy right in the middle of it. He presses it down so it stays in place with the sunction cup, and then let's go.

Rather than instantly reaching for the lube, Steve goes down on his knees and one free hand. Showing off his muscles all he same, he licks the dildo from the root to tip, where he wraps his lips around it and glances to the camera. There’s a couple of emoticons from SinnamonRose with starry eyes as Steve works on the pink toy. He moans around it, takes it deeper in each time he moves his lips further down on it. Wetting it with saliva.

He’s taken a viewer bump now, and he’s over seven hundred viewers as he pulls away from the dildo. He opens the purple bottle of lube, and squirts some on the tip of it, drops it beside him and wraps his fingers around it. “Hello for those just tuning in.” He grins at the camera, then straightens himself back up.

Steve turns around on the bed, giving them full view of his back and ass as he slides his fingers out. Enjoying the idea of leaving his viewers powerless at instructing him what to do. He grabs his ass, squeezes it for good measure. Then, holding the dildo in place for good measure; he lines himself up.

Steve lowers himself slowly on the dildo, taking just the right amount of time that he needs to adjust himself to the sensation of it. He loves every second of it, and all he wants is more but forces himself to drag it out. He moves back up a couple of times, nearly so the dildo comes out of him. But then lowers himself back on it. By the time he’s lowered himself fully on it, Steve’s half panting, half moaning. His dick is aching, wanting to be touched and his thighs are trembling with both effort and the sheer amount of pleasure warming his body in waves.

He looks over his shoulder to the screen, grins at his viewers and then looks back ahead of himself. Steve moans when he starts to move, and for the next couple of minutes loses himself in it. He touches himself, once, twice and whines when he does, his fingers brush by his nipples, up his neck and grabs himself. He brushes his nails over the sensitive skin by his stomach, making him whimper again and he feels himself get closer to his own orgasm.

It’s the sound of tokens being dropped that diverts his attention. A different sound, one of a heavier drop than the others. He looks over his shoulder and sees that RedStar is the donator. A message pops up soon after.

**RedStar: Can you look into our eyes when you cum?**

For nearly two thousand tokens, Steve thinks, RedStar can nearly get anything he wants. And he’s so fucking polite it makes Steve feel light headed. He doesn’t demand, he asks.

So Steve obliges, and he turns for the camera again and starts to move. It doesn’t take him long to get close once more. He’s moaning, whimpering for the camera, touching all over his body and feels that heat pool in his stomach. And he gives in to Red’s next suggestion without any tokens.

**RedStar: Jerk yourself, you’re so close, you’re so beautiful**

So Steve touches his dick again, and it doesn’t take more than just a couple of strokes before he cums. He arches his back, both for show and because it just feels so fucking good at that time. His cum hits him on his chest at first while he’s moaning, then on his stomach, and he feels the next bit of his load just drip over his thumb while he’s still squeezing himself. His thighs are trembling again, and he’s taking rapid, shallow breaths as he lets the pleasure overtake him.

He moves off the dildo and drops himself on the bed, letting his shallow breaths grow into deep ones as he starts to relax. Starts to grow drowsy and all he wants to do is doze off. Steve closes his eyes, and for a moment ignores the notifications of tokens. He strokes his fingers over the cum on his chest, then brings them up to his mouth to lick them clean.

With a tired gaze, he smiles to the camera. “Thanks for this evening, friends.” Steve tells them. “It was a lot of fun. I’m going to tuck myself in now, good night. Sweet dreams.” And with a content smile, Steve shuts his eyes again.

He rests for a couple of minutes, and pulls himself awake just moments before he’s about to fall asleep for real. He sits up and rubs his neck. Pushes the plexiglass plate away with the dildo and scoots over to the computer. His collected amount of tokens is now exceeding fourteen thousand five hundred tokens. He’s made just above seven-hundred twenty-five dollars. Tonight was a very profitable show.

The view count has dropped from above seven-hundred, down to forty. Most of them would have flocked away at Steve just relaxing on the bed for a couple of minutes. And his thumbnail wouldn’t have attracted any new curious eyes. Not surprisingly, RedStar is still amongst those online.

With a sigh, Steve props his chin up in his hand and smiles to the screen rather than the camera. “Did you enjoy yourself tonight, Red?” Steve asks, and instantly he sees that Red is starting to type his reply.

**RedStar: Loved it. You’re amazing you know that right?**

Steve hums in amusement, smiling and feels how the early start of crows feet by his eyes become clear. “Whenever I doubt it, you’re always there to remind me.” He tells him. “I’m going to go to bed now. Are you joining again on Saturday?”

**RedStar: You know I will President. Good night**

“Goodnight sweetheart.” Steve gives a wave to the camera. And then presses the button to disconnect his stream.

 

*

 

Steve hadn’t initially wanted to stream that evening. But a promise was a promise. And if he doesn’t stick to his usual routine and show hours then he’s bound to lose viewers. He’s worked to damn hard for that. And besides, Steve thought before he started his stream for the evening, people go to work not feeling like it all the damn time. Why should he be exempt from it?

He guides this stream more than he otherwise does, and focuses more on what he wants, more on what he himself enjoys. It earns him a bit less tokens than otherwise, mostly because he teases them more than usual rather than give them what they want. But he earned well on the last Wednesday, so he’s content with a bit less. Four hundred and eighty isn’t all that bad. It’s more than what some of his friends make all week.

He’s wiping himself clean with some of the wet wipes, and his followers have already started flocking away. It’s when he looks up to turn off his stream that he sees the message left for him. A quick glance tells him that RedStar is still online and watching.

**RedStar: Are you still up for a private session President?**

Steve pauses his hand mid-wipe, and considers the offer. He didn’t make _as_ much as usual. A private show would bump up his earnings. And RedStar is nice. RedStar is considerate who asks politely, and accepts it Steve tells him no. Even in a private show he wouldn’t make Steve do anything he wouldn’t like to do.

“Sure.” Steve winks to the camera. “I’ll plug you through yeah?” Steve shifts closer to the computer and quickly sets up the room for RedStar. He jumps into it almost instantly. Steve remains in his public stream for another moment and tells the other viewers good night, waves at them and then disconnects before clicking his way into the private stream.

“Feeling a little lonely tonight Red?” Steve asks, shuffling so he’s in the middle of the camera again and tosses away the wet wipe. He smiles back to him and brushes his hand over his chest, purposely dragging his thumb so lightly over his nipple. “Or morning, I should say morning shouldn’t I? Isn’t it like six in the morning for you?” Steve glances to the clock on the computer. Ten in the evening for him.

**RedStar: It’s six yeah**

**RedStar: Just had a bit of a shit day honestly. Night?**

**RedStar: Wanted some time alone with you**

“I’ll always have time for you Red, you know that.” Steve tells him, and means every damn word. Without Red, he wouldn’t have been able to finish school. Red had been there when he had streamed for the very first time out of desperation to pay for his classes. Nearly a foot shorter and a hundred pounds skinnier, he had been there and supported him. Now nearly a decade later, Red had moved from site to site with Steve, ever loyal. “What can I do for you tonight?”

**RedStar: That painting you spoke about earlier**

**RedStar: Can you tell me more about it?**

“Oh.” Steve breathes out a soft sigh in surprise. Stunned at the preposition. There’s a warm sun glowing in his chest as he realises that RedStar was listening when everyone else was commenting on his looks, begging him to show more. Through all that, RedStar had been on his end of the world and listened to Steve talk on about Carne Griffiths and his paintings.

“Yeah.” Steve breaks out in a wide smile. Suddenly thrilled. “Yeah, I can tell you more about it.” But before he gets started, Red stops him.

**RedStar: You can get dressed if you want, clean up and all while you do**

**RedStar: Or, whatever you do when you finish streaming**

**RedStar: Just want to listen to you for a little while**

Steve licks his lips, not quite believing what he’s reading. But he’s got no reason not to believe Red. He’s always been honest with him. “Alright. Let me get dressed first.”

 

*

 

An hour later Steve is laying out on his bed. Massive pillows propped up behind him. He’s swapped out the cover of the bed for the sheets that he sleeps in. He’s pulled on a pair of boxers again and a t-shirt. He would have prefered to take a shower but that’ll be for later. He’s still talking on about art.

Changing the topic from Carne Griffiths, Steve starts telling him about painting techniques. From that, the subject shifts into how the techniques changed history. RedStar would occasionally ask a question, but for the most part he remained quiet and just listened along to what Steve had to tell him. When another hour passed, Steve realised that he must have been boring Red.

“I’m sorry.” Steve sat up, grabbing both of his ankles and looked to the camera. “I’ve been ranting on haven’t I?” He chuckled, rubbing the muscles in his neck.

**RedStar: Not at all**

**RedStar: Well yeah**

**RedStar: But I don’t mind**

**RedStar: Just wanted to listen to you remember?**

“I know I know.” Steve sways a bit in the spot. “Just haven’t had this request really? It’s kind of odd you know. Just talking and you listening.” He chuckles as he gestures to the camera. “I don’t even get to see you. I don’t even know what you look like. You’ve made my evening from remotely shitty to a nice one with this. And I don’t even know what you look like.” Steve shifted closer to the desk, and plants his elbow on it, chin in hand. “Can I see you?”

For the first time in ten years, Red doesn’t instantly begin to type a response. The question had slipped out of Steve before he even had the chance to stop himself. And now he feels his heart thumping in his chest as he waits. “I mean. We’ve never done that. But I can fix that. It’s a privilege the streamer has, for private sessions that is. I can open up the opportunity for you to connect your cam and we’d be able to see each other. If… if you want to of course.”

After ten years, Steve would be lying if he said that he wasn’t curious.

Then Red begins to type.

**RedStar: You want to see me?**

“Red. You’ve been my viewer for a decade. You’ve paid me thousands of dollars over the years. You’re the oldest one of my fans. Yes I want to see you. I’m curious.” Steve says. And he feels the certainty that he’ll accept Red just for who he is. He doesn’t care at this point if Red turns out to be a hundred year old man who’s savvy for his age. He doesn’t care if Red is a married man with seven kids. He doesn’t even care if Red is a woman.

Ten years is a long time. And the only fact that he knows about Red is that he lives in Russia.

Red stays quiet.

“Come on.” Steve tries to coax and winks, knowing fully well that Red is weak for it. It works, surprising Steve a little bit despite his confidence. Red begins to type again.

**RedStar: Alright. Yeah okay**

**RedStar: It’s only fair**

**RedStar: Just I don’t speak English anymore nearly as well as I write it okay?**

**RedStar: I’ve gotten quite the accent since staying here**

“Since staying?” Steve can’t help but hide his surprise this time. He’s already going through his settings to send Red an invite, wondering exactly what Red means with that. “The plot thickens.” Steve says and laughs, finally finding his way amongst the various tabs. He’s only ever given a handful of viewers the privilege during his career of watching them himself. And only if they paid handsomely.

But the idea of seeing Red in person has his heart thumping in his chest, the one and only person who supported him the most through his career.

**RedStar: I’ll tell you all about it, how about that?**

“Deal!” Steve says perhaps a little bit too enthusiastic and clicks on the invite. It pops up in their chat, and he’s watching it expectantly. It takes a little while before anything happens. But soon the chat window minimizes to the right side of the screen, leaving barely an inch available for text as a large black window opens up.

The first colours Steve sees is black, grey and cream coloured squares. Then, as the internet connection loads in between him and Red, the screen goes black, another set of squares and then… all of a sudden Red is there in front of him. Sitting in the most comfortable desk chair that Steve has ever seen in his life, sits the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen.

Glittering in the dark, is a set of sharp, attentive blue eyes. Brown hair that Steve assumes to be long, with a hint of it being tied up in a messy bun at the back of his head. Cheekbones that make his face look angelic, and a square set jaw with a stubble growing. And in between his pink lips, he’s got the draw cord of his hood. His shoulders and chest seem to be all muscles, a loose top not unlike one that Steve owns himself and would reveal all of Red’s sides if he wasn’t wearing the black hoodie. The sleeves are rolled up, and he’s wearing bracelets that make his arms look more muscular, which is an extremely attractive sight. He’s got chest hair, Steve notices, and just wants to brush his fingers through it.

The room is dark, and Steve barely makes out a couple of framed movie posters behind him on the wall. He doesn’t really care about the movie posters, not when he can look at Red in front of that. Steve isn’t even aware that his jaw went slack. Red pulls the draw cord out of his mouth and starts talking.

But… Steve doesn’t hear anything.

“What’s that?” Steve asks, Red looks at him with raised eyebrows in confusion. He repeats himself, or at least Steve assumes he does. Steve shakes his head. “I can’t hear you, Red, there’s no sound.”

Red’s mouth drops open to the most wonderful O and he raises a finger to the camera. Then pulls the desk chair closer to the camera for Steve to admire. And as Red takes his mouse in hand and gets a furrowed brow as he starts to click away on his computer, Steve takes the chance to do just that.

There’s a light incoming hint of crows feet the corners of his eyes. And when he focuses, his eyes seem to grow darker. He’s not looking in the camera, and whatever he’s doing on his computer has his utmost focus as Steve sees the hint of a tattoo in his neck, barely peeking out from under his clothing. There’s little marks on his nose, and Steve wonders if Red purposely took off his glasses before starting his own camera. There’s a scar in his eyebrow, remnant of a piercing that he must have taken out, and he’s got multiple others in his ears.

There’s a crackling sound, and Red is looking back to the camera. “There, do you hear me now?” His voice is deep and sultry, making him think of smoking wood being covered in honey. The accent that he spoke off is prominent, deeply ingrained in his consonants and a slant in his vowels. And god, Steve thinks as he sees, he’s even got a piercing in his tongue.

Steve breathes out a chuckle, and feels himself smile. He nods a couple of times. “Yeah, I can hear you now.” And after that, he feels at absolute loss of what to say next. What do you even say now? He realises. And all he can do is just stare at Red. “I’m sorry.” He sputters then, laughs and feels his cheeks warm up. “You were saying when I couldn’t hear you?” He asks, hoping that it’ll shove the responsibility of it over to Red.

Red just laughs and leans back again in his desk chair, folding his hands over his stomach and spins his chair a little bit. “I was saying.” He begins, and Steve thinks of honey again, his warm voice has a smoothness to it that many English speakers lack he realises. “That I’m not actually Russian. I’ve lived here for…” Red frowns a little bit, eyes casting themselves up to his ceiling as his nose scrunches. “Twelve, thirteen years? Don’t really speak much English anymore. So when I do, people can kind of tell.”

He chuckles and brings his thumb up to his mouth to bite down on it. Steve can spot a hint of a tattoo on his underarm, but can’t make out what it is.

“It’s so…” Steve begins, but trails off again. He laughs and shakes his head, and curses himself for feeling so nervous when there’s nothing to be nervous about. Part of him worries that Red can tell. That he’ll see through the confident manner that Steve carries himself in his streams. He rubs the muscles in his neck, feeling as if he’d vibrate out of his skin from happiness. “It’s so… surreal isn’t it?” Steve looks at Red, who laughs. Deep and chesty, like boulders crashing down.

“I mean, more for me than you, you know how I’ve looked for the past ten years. But for me?” Steve places his hand on his chest and stares at Red again, who looks far too amused. “For me this is… this is like meeting Ghandi or some other next level shit.” And there’s that boulder laugh again, and why does Steve feel like he’s fourteen all over again? “I’m so happy I finally get to see you.”

“Really?” Red asks, only a hint of a smile as he still has his thumb up those pink lips of his, biting down on the nail. Steve nods, mesmerized by the sight of him. Then Red removes his thumb, and for a moment just watches Steve with a slight tilt of his head. Steve imagines that’s how he looks when he’s watching Steve’s stream. Eyes bright and observing every single muscle of Steve, every single movement that he makes with his hands, hears every little moan.

The idea of it makes him stiffen a bit in his boxers. And he’s glad sitting so close to the desk, leaving no opportunity for Red to notice.

“You don’t have to call me Red, if we talk like this you can call me Bucky.”

 

*

 

They talk until past five in the morning, for nearly six hours straight before Steve has to admit defeat and go to bed. In front of him Red… no, Bucky is yawning as well. Steve feels heat pool in his stomach when Bucky is the one who winks to him before signing off.

 

*

 

It turns into a regular thing before Steve realises it. He still hasn’t three weeks later, even if he’s now reached to the point of opening a private session for Red… no, Bucky as soon as he finishes his stream. Bucky listens to Steve talk about his day, watches him as he fixes his bed for the evening. And when Steve is the one getting changed, brushing his teeth Bucky tells Steve about his day. How work went that day.

He’s a programmer, Steve learns, and self employed with more than enough tasks to keep himself afloat. He takes whatever task they throw his way, makes apps, makes programs, checks people’s websites for faults for them. He moved to Russia to study it, and wound up liking Moscow enough to stay. There’s a moment of surprise in between them when Steve found out that he’s also from Brooklyn, and they remiscined about a similar childhood with one another.

Steve also learns that Bucky has a ring in the left side of his nose, which he wasn’t wearing for their first initial time seeing one another. He had been at a meeting that day, and he had to come across as somewhat professional.

They talk about movies, video games, they tell them about their friends and memories. About past loves and the meaning of life. And through every damn topic, Bucky just seems to grow more beautiful.

It’s striking that evening, Steve thinks as he watches him. Bucky is talking about a novel series that he read as a kid. No hoodie this time, just a top and sweatpants. Steve knows this because Bucky has been getting up to get himself a drink. And with the top alone the solid muscles in the others arms that must be unreal, distract Steve beyond belief. And he’s wearing the glasses that Steve originally suspected him to have. Thick rimmed black ones, and they frame his face perfectly.

So he only hears half of it.

“You’re not listening, are you?” Bucky’s voice cuts through his mind, pulling Steve’s thoughts away from those lips. His mind telling him that this part of the conversation he should pay attention to. But can he be blamed? Bucky is beautiful to watch, and now Steve is perfectly relaxed after his stream, having cum twice after having felt friskier than usual. Once with a fleshlight at the request of a viewer, and once with a cockring that also doubled as a prostate massager.

So he’s sated, comfortable and warm in his bed all while listening to Bucky’s voice and imagining that it’s whispered into his ear. Has he thought of how fucking gorgeous Bucky is today yet? He has, but he’s thinking it again.

“I’m listening!” Steve defends himself. Bucky snorts and rolls his eyes. He doesn’t bite on his thumb anymore, something Steve realised early on was just a nervous tick of his.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky raises one eyebrow, and Steve knows he’s in trouble. “What was I talking about then?”

“Desert.” Steve guesses, it’s the last he can remember for sure. “And something in it, giant worms.” The more he speaks, the more confident he’s in it. Bucky snorts and rolls his eyes. Steve raises his shoulders rather sheepishly. “Sorry?”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, but leans his chin in his hand and smiles at him in such a way that Steve knows he’s forgiven. He scratches his stomach, and there’s that warm feeling in his stomach again. Sliding in and making its presence known so easily whenever he’s watching Bucky.

“Hey Buck?” Steve asks, still finding it funny that he felt the need to give Bucky’s nickname a nickname. Especially after finding out that Bucky really is a James. Bucky hums, all without moving in his chair. Steve pauses for a moment before he asks. “Why do you still watch me after all these years?”

“Are you kidding me?” Bucky asks him in return. Steve shrugs with his shoulders, urging him to go on. “Out of all the streamers out there, especially male streamers, you actually bring something. You don’t just, jerk off and stare into the camera. You interact with people, you give us what we ask, and sometimes you tease us and don’t give us what we ask. You’ve got that little bit of extra, and that’s incredibly sexy. Not to mention that everything you do is already hot like hell.”

Steve’s flattered. “Thank you.” He says softly. “That’s… that’s what I’m aiming for when I stream actually. Not to be boring.” He laughs.

“Well, you succeed in that. Don’t you worry. You’re far from boring. You’re fun, you’re hot as hell, you’re beautiful. Honestly anything I get to see you do is a treat.” Bucky pauses. “Do you still like it, after all these years?”

“Bucky I fucking love it.” Steve starts to laugh. “I really do. I’ve got a lot of fun with it, I work ten hours a week, and I earn pretty damn good during those ten hours if I might add. I get paid to get off, for someone who’s always had a thing about being watched that’s pretty damn fantastic. I’ve got a lot of time to hang out with my friends, I’ve got so much time to just, sit and paint. It’s wonderful. I wouldn’t want to give it up for the world.”

Steve sighs deeply, then turns solem. “But I should probably do something. I can’t stream my entire life. I’m twenty-eight. I still look good. But at some point I’ll be to old you know?” Steve frowns. “So I’m saving money as best as I can, hoping that I can get some foot into the art world before I wind up forcibly retired. And that I can make a living off that. I’d love to show my stuff in a gallery.”

Bucky doesn’t respond at first. He stays silent on his end of the globe. Then he cleared his throat. “I think that…” He pauses, almost as if he hesitates what he’s about to say. “I know that if you stream for another ten years, or twenty, I’ll be watching you. I’ll be watching you until you decide to sign off permanently.”

Steve just looks at Bucky, speechless. Bucky laughs nervously and the nervous tick of his thumb just gets brought up to his lips again. His cheeks seem to darken a bit in his dark room. “That sounded a lot less creepy and stalkerish in my head.”

“It’s okay.” Steve smiles softly. “Thank you. That makes me feel better.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Hey Buck?” Steve asks again, Bucky hums his response. “When you watch me stream, what’s your favorite act?” Steve grins widely, feeling a little mischievous all of a sudden. It’s Bucky’s fault really. For getting such a wonderful blush over his cheeks, for putting Steve’s focus on those pink lips whenever he bites down on his thumb. Making Steve wonder just how those lips would feel around his cock. How that little stud of metal in his tongue would feel at the underside of it. He’s never gotten a blowjob from anyone with a tongue piercing. The thought of it makes his cock harden.

“Oh man.” Bucky casts his eyes up again, another movement that he’s prone to do whenever Steve gives him something to think about. He pouts. “Now you’ve asked me a question.” Bucky shifts in his desk chair. “I really, really love it when you’re getting close. Bit by bit. I don’t know if you know but, you make these little whimpers? And when you make those, and you look into the camera. Oh man, that gets me going every single time.”

“What does? The whimpers? Or me staring into the camera?” Steve asks, biting a little bit on his lower lip. Wishing he still had a slight dab of red lipstick on them, but he had washed that off after he brushed his teeth.

“Both, can I say both?” Bucky was looking at him intently. Something had changed about the stare, Steve could tell.

“You can.” Steve kicks his sheets of him, deciding to play it all a little bit bold. Bucky is an attractive, downright beautiful man. He’s watched Steve in all possible positions over the past decade. Surely this wouldn’t be any different, right? There’s a little voice in the back of his head telling him not to push his luck. To keep the line in between them, that of streamer and viewer clear.

Giving Bucky a free treat could very well be the end of a loyal viewership if he gives it enough time to crumble their foundation. But the blood that’s supposed to keep his brain active and making bright decisions, has travelled down to his nether regions, and his dick has a very different way of thinking.

“Like this?” Steve asks, stroking his hand down from his chest, down his abdomen, and squeezes himself. He lets out a soft moan, all while making sure that he stares right into the camera.

Bucky doesn’t respond at first. He just watches Steve, thumb brushing over those lips of his. Steve squeezes himself again, lets out another moan. Then pulls his hand up a bit, just enough so he can slide his fingers under the elastic of his boxers, and slides his hand back down. Never once taking his eyes off the camera.

He sees Bucky swallow, adam’s apple bobbing with the movement and wonders if this is how Bucky always sat and watched Steve for the entirety of the past decade. “Yeah. Just like that.”

Steve squeezes himself again, then cups himself and gives himself a teasing stroke. He moans again, shifting a little bit in the bed. He brushes his other hand over his chest.

“Can you take them off?” Bucky asks, his voice has gotten darker, it’s not as sweet as he usually sounds. There’s something deeper in his voice now, something more wanting. More primal.

Steve smirks at him, he removes his hand, hooks his thumbs by the boxers and pauses. “Can you?” He asks.

“Cheeky are we today?” But Bucky is smirking to him, and he doesn’t seem to object at all. “That what you want? You want to watch me while you jerk off?” Steve only shrugs his shoulders lightly in response to Bucky. He tugs his boxers down, just a little. Just enough to hint away at the fine pubic hairs.

Bucky licks his lips, and then seems to decide all at once. He pulls up his top a bit, revealing muscles that are noticeable even in the dark. He pushes his desk chair back, ensuring that Steve can see more off him as he tugs down his sweatpants. Bucky either goes commando or pulls them both down in one go. His thighs are wonderfully thick and muscular, coated in thin but dark strands of hair.

His cock is already semi erect, laying thickly against Bucky’s thigh. He watches as Bucky’s fingers close around himself, giving himself a lazy stroke. “Your end of the bargain now.” Bucky reminds him.

Steve’s throat has gone dry as he swallows, but he holds up to his promise. With ease he slides his boxers down, kicks them off the bed. It leaves him fully naked in front of Bucky for the second time that evening. He strokes himself again and moans, there’s less of a show to his actions now and he wonders if Bucky can tell. This is more for his own pleasure than anyone else’s.

Although…

Deep in the pit of his abdomen he knows that he wants to see Bucky cum. He wants to see if Bucky’s mouth drops open, or if he’s the sort to bite down on his lip. He wants to see that chest of his rise and fall.

The fantasy makes Steve moan again, the image in his head cloud as his focus returns to Bucky. His cock is stiffening, thicker. It makes Steve’s mouth dry.

“Is that a…?” The question trails off as he spots the two black dots on the underside of Bucky’s dick, just below the head. He tilts his head back and laughs. “Of course you’d have your dick pierced.” He isn’t surprised in the least. Bucky joins him in laughing. All the honey is gone in his voice now, it’s just thick with smoking wood. “Any other piercing’s you’ve neglected to tell me about?”

Bucky’s smirk is devilish, and the hand that isn’t giving himself lazy strokes, he bundles up his top. He tugs it up, and reveals that it’s not just his abdomen that’s muscular, but the lines are clear over all of his upper body. He lets go of the top, and brings a pierced nipple in between his index finger and his middle finger. Steve groans.

“That all?” Steve asks, stroking himself a little bit harder now when he’s fully erect, he moves his hips with his touch, dragging his fingernails over his warm skin, sending shivers up his spine, and goosebumps appear on his arms. A skill quite rare, that he’s quite proud off.

“That’s all darling.” Bucky promises him, blowing him a kiss. Steve shivers again, and imagines that kiss just behind his ear. Just below his jaw. On his collar bone. On his spine. On his chest, below his navel. He imagines those lips everywhere on his body and moans again.

“You’re so fucking thick.” Steve states, biting his lip again as he watches how Bucky jerks himself off. Steve’s seen longer dicks, sucked longer dicks and fucked longer dicks. But Bucky’s dick is one of the thickest he’s ever seen, and he fantasises about the stretch in his jaw should he be down on his knees in front of him.

“I’ve been told.” Bucky responds smugly. Of course he responds smugly. The man is the picture definition of it in the dictionary. He pinches the pierced nipple, and Bucky takes a sharp intake of breath.

“Do you top?” Steve asks, burning to know, wanting and needing to know if he can fantasize about Bucky stretching him with that cock. Steve can take a lot, he knows he can take a lot. But he imagines that Bucky behind him, pushing that dick in him would be such an intimate sensation, one with a low burn until he’s all the way inside of him. Steve whimpers again, feeling the pleasure build up under his skin, vibrating as all he wants to do is to move in his bed. Wants to feel the pressure by his ass of something, anything, his fingers, another toy… inside of him.

“Exclusively.” Bucky admits. Steve squeezes himself a bit harder and moans again, his hips arch a bit off the bed, towards the touch that he’s given himself. Bucky moans not long after and Steve suddenly wishes he’s wearing headphones, just so he can hear it right in his ear.

“Would you fuck me if I asked?” Steve asks him, dying to hear the answer. Suddenly that’s all that matters to him. He gets off nearly daily, and he enjoys himself in the process, both in private and for his stream. But actually having _been_ with someone has been far, far to long. Relationships are hard once people find out that he’s putting himself on display for strangers before he strips for them.

“God I would.” Bucky moans.

He doesn’t need much more. Steve can already feel himself reach his climax. So he tries, he tries not to let it take control over him. Not yet, Bucky first, he tries to tell himself. He wants to have the image of Bucky cumming on his own chest, over his own hand ingrained in his mind before he spills over the edge.

“Come on Bucky.” Steve moans, deep in his chest and filthy. He watches the screen, doing its best to keep up with Bucky’s own stroking of himself. Occasionally his hand blurs, occasionally it’s sharp as crystal to the point where Steve sees the piercing again, and wonders how it would feel against the back of his throat. How it would feel inside of him. He’s only read good things about it. “Cum for me, I want to see you cum.”

Bucky groans again, and there’s a newfound tension in his muscles after that. Steve can tell. “C’mon.” Steve urges him again. “C’mon Buck, come for me, I want to see you like that. All moaning, whimpering. I want to see you feel good. It’s my turn now.”

After a decade, Steve thinks it’s only fair that he gets to see Bucky cum first. There are no objections from him. Bucky brings up his hand to his mouth and spits in it, then with one slow stroke, spreads it over his cock. And Steve watches, mesmerised.

He sees as Bucky whimpers, he watches that muscular chest rise and fall and wonders how it would feel to his touch. He still desperately wants to feel Bucky’s cock inside of him, but he can’t be bothered to move now to get another toy, to get lube. So he keeps watching. Keeps watching as Bucky’s grip gets harder near the head, listens to those wonderful, filthy moans of his.

Steve can hear when Bucky’s getting closer, his breathing is hitching, and at some points it’s almost as if he stops entirely.

Bucky is the sort who’s mouth drops open to a perfect O when he cums, Steve finds out. He’s letting out a deep groan. He’s pinching his unpierced nipple now, and with a faintest twitch upwards of his hips, he cums. Some of his cum hits his chest, while the rest of it drips from the head, over Bucky’s fingers.

With that image in front of his eyes, Steve doesn’t need anything else. While he’s fantasising about licking the cum off Bucky’s chest, his own fingers around that thick cock, and the strain he would have put his jaw through, he cums. And he cums harder than he’s done previously that evening.

All of his muscles tense up in an instant, so hard that he believes his thigh might cramp. Every nerve and every muscle in his body is on fire, and he imagines it’s Bucky’s featherlight touches against his skin, soft soft kisses fluttering all over his skin. The warm pooling pleasure that’s seeping out of him by his waist is from Bucky, having thrusted into him over and over with the precise amount of power, with the precise pace. And Steve feels like he’s in a dream.

His limbs are heavy when he’s finally coming down from orgasm, and he can barely keep his arm up. He lets his hand drop on his stomach, feeling the warm and sticky mess underneath his palms and fingers. His muscles twitch together from the after rush, nearly rolling him onto his side. Laughter bubbles up within him as the sensitivity continues its course through his body. He hears Bucky do the same.

“That was…” Steve begins, so sleepily, and he can’t find the right word to finish his sentence. Bucky fills it in for him.

“Fucking fantastic?”

“Yeah…” Steve muses, still sleepy. “Fucking fantastic.”

 

*

 

“Jesus Steve, put the fucking phone down.”  Sam’s annoyed, piercing through the baby tomato in his salad with more force than what’s necessary. “All you’ve been doing this past hour is stare at that phone, and I swear it plings the moment you put it down.”

“Sorry.” Steve smiles at him, hinting that he’s not sorry in the slightest and puts his phone down, screen first on the table. He takes his sandwich in his hand and takes a bite. Just then his phone pings again, vibrating on the table. He looks at it, carefully chewing the bite that he just took and looks over to Sam.

Sam stares at him for a full three seconds before sighing in defeat and gesturing to the phone. Steve smirks at him, put the sandwich down and takes his phone with both his hands. Feeling about as giddy as he did when he was fourteen and had his first crush. The name Bucky comes up on the screen as a whatsapp message.

“Who are you even texting so maniacally?” Sam asks, not looking up from his plate as he stuffs his mouth with more greens, carrot and cucumber. “Did you meet someone?” The question seems to perk Sam up. For all the right reasons. It’s been a good four years ago since Steve went on a date for the last time. His romantic life doesn't extent occasional hookups that he finds on Grindr. Some last a night only, some last for a couple of weeks. But none ever evolved into anything serious.

“Sort of?” Steve makes a face as he presses send, then puts his phone down again. Screen upwards this time so he can see what Bucky types the moments it reaches his phone. “I’ve known them for a while. It’s only recently we’ve gotten… well.” He shrugs with his shoulders, as if that explains the whole ordeal.

He’s talked with Bucky every day since that evening when they both had their dicks in their hands. Watching the other. Bucky doesn’t even ask for a private viewing anymore, Steve opens one automatically now as he finishes streaming. They’ve exchanged email addresses, phone numbers, and Steve even has gone as far as installing a new program on his computer so they can video chat outside of Chaturbate. Not that the new program remained any more innocent.

Some nights they would just talk until the dead of the night. Other nights they jerk off together. There’s something that make Steve love even more to get himself off for Bucky and Bucky alone. He loves the way his voice sounds when he’s aroused, telling Steve that he looks beautiful while he’s riding a dildo or fucking himself with it. Of course, Sam doesn’t have to know any of this.

“Well, do I know him?” Sam prods, poking his fork through a baby tomato again. Gentler this time, and he pierces it rather than send it rolling over his plate in a hurry to escape. Steve makes a whining sound. Sam knows all about Red, just as well as Steve knows that Sam wouldn’t approve of what he was doing now. It almost feels a bit like disappointing a parent. Sam has always been a compass for Steve whenever he started to think with his dick.

Except now the blood has started to flow from his dick to his chest instead, sending his heart racing at the thought of Bucky.

“I know him. But I’m not going to be happy about it.” Sam guesses instantly at the whine. Steve nods, his phone dings and he glances down to the message, smiling a little bit. At least he can trust Sam to be mature enough not to just grab his phone and read his messages for himself.

“Yeah.” Steve admits, takes his phone again and types the reply. There’s no point in hiding it from him. Sam sighs deeply through his nose, and Steve sinks together a little bit in his chair once he sends the message. He picks out a piece of lettuce from his sandwich. He doesn’t mind lettuce, but Sam is making him nervous.

“It’s not Hodge is it? Please tell me you’re not getting back together with him. You get all stupid giddy when you’re verging on getting back together with him.” Sam throws his hand towards Steve, leaning back in his chair with an expression of both worry and fury. Steve snorts.

“No It’s not Gil. I haven’t heard from him in like a year.” Steve takes a bite of his sandwich. Chewing a couple of times and then speaking before swallowing. “Besides, I heard he moved to DC. So he’s not even in the area.” And if he is, he’s outside the range of Steve’s grindr profile, or, Gil blocked him. Which is also a reasonable explanation.

“Oh good.” Sam instantly relaxes, takes his soda from the table and takes a sip as Coca Cola was a scotch. Only he takes it through a straw. Steve chuckles at the image. “So who is it?”

“It’s uhm.” Steve picks at another piece of lettuce in his sandwich. His phone dings again and he looks down on it while licking his lips. Then he glances back to Sam, nervous. Sam would disapprove. Of course Sam would. He’s the reasonable, older, mom friend who makes sure that everyone goes home when they’re wasted, and not with the guy they’ve been hitting up at the bar. He’s the one who takes Steve out for lunch in healthy places that offer salads and sandwiches and decent food unlike Hot Dogs, Pizzas, and Hamburgers like Clint does.

Steve takes a sip from his own drink, wanting to drag out every second for as long as he can. All while knowing that the longer he waits, the harder it’s going to be. “Well?” Sam urges, eyebrows raised.

“It’s Red.” Steve finally admits. Puts down his drink and purposely takes a big bite of his sandwich so he doesn’t have to talk. So he’s unable to talk with bread, ham, cheese and a variety of toppings in his mouth. He almost chokes.

“Red.” Sam repeats, almost as if he expects that to make sense of it. His brows furrow as Steve sees the clogs in his mind kick into gear, filing cabinets opening and closing as he tries to think of someone in their vicinity that they both know that goes under the name Red. “I don’t know a Red who the hell is-” and then a drawer gets opened in Sam’s head, the one of Red’s not in their vicinity and the light bulb flashes above Sam’s head. His eyes widen. “Fucking RedStar?!” He exclaims, perhaps a little to loud for the respectable establishment that they’re in.

This one is filled with businessmen and women having their lunches, people talking over hushed voices over divorce and custodial settlements. Not teenagers skipping out of school. Steve nods, sheepish all while knowing he’s got no reason to be. He’s a grown man, he can do what he wants. Right?

“Steve!” Sam says loudly, then catches himself and leans in to hiss. “Steve, fucking RedStar?! You’re seeing one of your viewers?!” Steve shrugs a bit and looks down to the phone, wanting to press the button that would light up the screen and tell him again what Bucky sent him. “Steve you don’t see viewers. You start to get involved with them they’ll start expecting shit for free. He’s your customer, he pays you, don’t get involved with the dude who pays you.

“It’s not like that.” Steve shrugs, a feeble attempt at defending himself from the disappointment of a parent. Only, his mother would have supported him, she would have wanted him to be happy. “He’s not like that. He still pays when I stream…”

“And for how long will that be Steve? Huh?” Sam questions. No. He demands. “The moment that the pair of you make it some level of official, do you think that he’d still pay for you?”

“It’s not like that.” Steve repeats, feeling frustrated with Sam and the accusations that he came with. Well, truth’s. Steve has both heard it happen, and been in that position himself a long time ago. It didn’t last long, and sure, he was upset, but he got over it. “He’s nice to me, and if we make it official he doesn’t have to pay.” Steve’s thought about this, he’s perfectly okay with that idea. Even if he hasn’t asked to Bucky yet what he means to him.

“Steve. I’m not asking this to be mean.” Sam leans in again, voice softer now. Rather than filled with anger it sounds like worry, and that’s what makes Steve look back up to him. “If that happens. Do you honestly believe that he wants you for you. And not for…” He pauses, makes a little grunt as if to say _you know_. They’re in a public place after all.

Steve’s hurt more by the question than he’s willing to admit. It upsets him. He looks down to his phone and bites his lip. He thinks of all the times he’s woken up to wonderful little texts and poems from Bucky to wish him a good morning. Of all the phone calls they’ve had when Steve’s in the grocery store or cooking. Bucky asking him what he’s making and how he’s making it. Bucky talking on about whatever program or app he’s trying to make, talking in what seems to be a completely different language despite that it’s English. He thinks of the times they’ve both started a movie at the same time on netflix, and watched it together while on the phone. Talking in hushed whispers, sometimes not talking at all and just watching. Hearing his laughter in his ear.

And he knows that Bucky would want him for who he is. And not for his body. But does he? He’s never asked.

“I think he does want me for me.” He says softly, looking down to the sandwich that he’s got no appetite for anymore. And it’s almost as if Sam realises that he’s pushed it to far. Sam takes a breath, then reaches out to squeeze Steve’s arm.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Sam admits with a soft little smile. Steve returns one to him. “I didn’t mean to be mean. I just don’t want you to get hurt you know? It’s hard to know people’s intentions when you meet them through a stream like that. And even more when the dude is on the other end of the world. It’s Russia isn’t it? I mean that’s a long way from home.”

Steve doesn’t want to admit it to himself. But Sam does have a point.

 

*

 

Bucky accepts the video call the moment that Steve sends it on. Sometimes he still marvels at that, how Bucky is online pretty much every single second of the day. Before Steve remembers that he does work from home from his computer, and that he doesn’t sleep much.

“I got us something.” Steve practically sings as he sits down on the bed, bouncing in sight of the camera. He’s only taken off his coat and his shoes, so he’s dressed rather plain in just jeans and the old hoodie from his college. He hasn’t even done anything to his hair. He raises the all black plastic bag for Bucky to see.

“Oh? What’s that?” There’s a strain in Bucky’s voice, and Steve watches him remove his glasses from his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose, before he rubs them. Staring at to many lines of codes, Steve figures. And he hopes that the little present Steve bought for the pair of them will cheer him up.

“This.” Steve shuffles further into the bed, placing him right in the middle out of old habit and pulls out the pink box from the plastic bag. Why are boxes with sex toys either pink or white? With the odd purple there never seems to be another colour. Green does not exist in the sex industry unless it’s a dragon dick dildo, Steve thinks amused.

“Is a remote controlled, buttplug.” Steve holds the box up in front of him so Bucky can see, holds it close enough to the camera and hopefully still enough so Bucky can read it. And there’s that sultry laugh.

“A what now?” Bucky questions, and in one instant he sounds a lot more cheerful than he did at the start. Steve lowers the box and rolls his eyes.

“A buttplug, surely you’ve heard of those?” Steve teases and flips over the box for him to read again. He had stood debating in the sex shop while he was out buying some more lube for the stream. Usually he did a browse through to see if there was anything he could find to entice his viewers with. And then he had stumbled upon that. The price had scared him off a little bit at first. At a $180 dollars he had questioned his sanity if it was worth it, but the idea of leaving himself in Bucky’s control had lead him to buy it anyhow. Besides. It could be fun.

No. He knew it would be fun.

“Course I’ve heard of a buttplug, you dick.” Bucky snorts and rolls his eyes.

“You’ve got to download an app though, and I’ve got to sync it and make an account and it’ll generate a code for you to put in the app. But.” Steve looks up from the box, puts it beside him and shifts closer. “If all goes well, you should be able to control it. And I thought, it’d be a lot of fun for me to wear, and for to just… do what you please with.” He raises his shoulders a bit, smiles sweetly to Bucky.

He can see the dark look in Bucky’s eyes, sees how he licks his lips at the idea about it. “Yeah alright.” Bucky reaches to grab his phone. “What’s the name of that app?”

They spend the next fifteen minutes following the instructions that come in the box. Steve makes an account under the company website with the pre-generated login and password for him, and changes it to his own email and preferred password. There he generates the code, which Bucky puts into the app.

“Right. Is it charged? Do you need to charge it first?” Bucky lowers his phone, frowning a bit. He’s wearing his glasses again.

“It’s been charging the moment we unboxed it.” Steve reminds him. “And it worked when I clicked that test button thing didn’t it?”

“Right right.” Bucky looks down to his phone again. It had vibrated from a gentle tickle, to a strong loud buzz that would have made Steve’s knees weak had he been standing up. “Capital a, y, j, seven six…” Bucky mumbles the rest of the code. Presses a button on the screen and waits a second, then he laughs. “Did you seriously name it Mr. Dependable?” Bucky’s smiling wide and bright when he looks back to Steve.

“I had to name it something. Couldn’t just leave it with the sad name of Hush plug. It’s not supposed to make me hush, it’s supposed to make me do just the opposite of that.” Steve laughs. “Come on, try it. Cause if not I’m going to go and swap it out for one that actually works.” And for all that money that he paid for it, it better work, he thinks.

“Alright alright. Keep your… no actually don’t keep your pants on.” Bucky changes mid sentence, then taps something on his screen. Sure enough, the plug begins to vibrate on his bed. Soft and gentle. “Is it working?”

Steve stares at it, mouth open. Then he picks it up, his fingers feeling every single buzz of it, every single spin the tiny little motors inside it take. He holds it up for Bucky to see, but he’s not certain if it even shows. “It works just fine. Turn it up a bit?” Steve asks Bucky. He looks down to his phone again and swipes. The plug begins to vibrate harder, stronger and it’s making more noise now. It’s making the tips of Steve’s fingers feel funny.

“Wow.” Bucky says when even he’s able to hear it himself. Then swipes at his phone again to turn it off. “That’ll be fun.”

“Mhm.” Steve hums, puts it down and licks his lips. Then he leans in to the desk, placing his chin in his hand. “Want me to put it on now?”

“Actually… no.” Bucky puts his phone on his desk. Steve raises one eyebrow in bewilderment to him. “Wear it tomorrow, when you wake up. First thing.” He tells Steve, leaning back in his chair. “And at some point during the day, I’ll surprise you with it, how does that sound?”

“That…” Steve swallows, the idea alone has him grow harder in his pants. “Yeah. That sounds like a wonderful idea.” He smiles to Bucky, and watches the other wink to him.

“I got to get back to work now though. I got to finish this project before sunrise.” Bucky tells him, gesturing to the camera while he really means his computer set up. Steve looks at the time. Four in the afternoon, it’s ten in the evening for him. Bucky has about eleven hours to finish his project.

“Sure.” Steve nods, smiling at him. “Can I watch you while you work?” He asks carefully. Bucky winks at him again.

“Sure you can.” With that, Bucky slides his chair closer to his desk again and begins to work. Steve watches him for a couple of minutes before he goes about his own day, leaving the computer open. Occasionally Bucky asks him something, but for the most he’s quiet, clicking away on the computer and typing on the keyboard. It’s to that sound seven hours later that Steve falls asleep too in his own bed, book in hand.

 

*

 

Because he promised Bucky, the first thing Steve does the next day is deal with his morning wood. He’s young still, so for as long as he can, he plans to enjoy himself and his libido. It makes him relaxed enough to be able to slide the plug in with a bit of lube, enjoying the bit of a stretch it gives him.

He lays in bed for a while, getting accustomed to the feeling of it. The curiosity of just _when_ Bucky would start it. But he’s got a feeling that’ll be a while longer when he checks what time it is. Nine in the morning. If all went well and Bucky finished his project that he was working on, he’s only been asleep for six hours at the most. Even that is doubtful. Knowing Bucky, he would like to shower first, have something to eat, tidy up a bit. He wouldn’t be in bed until his noon.

Which… okay, Bucky might be awake over in Russia, but Steve tries to resist not to check their whatsapp conversation for a hint when Bucky last was online. Surprise is good, that was the whole point right?

So Steve gets up, makes himself some breakfast and eats that while watching shitty morning tv that he’s not really watching. He spends most of the morning painting, trying to finish his painting.

By the time that Steve finishes he’s almost forgotten about it. Almost. He still feels it, even if he’s gotten used to it. And it’s taking him all the self control that he’s got not to tense the muscles in his ass to feel more of it. Stay relaxed. It’ll come in it’s own time.

And just when he’s dishing out the pots with paint water, that’s when he feels it. It’s soft at first, gentle. Coaxing a small gasp out of Steve as he shudders at the sensation, gripping at the sink. It’s gone just as fast as it appeared. Leaving Steve standing in his kitchen. Breathing slightly faster.

“Fuck.” He mumbles content to himself, imagining Bucky by his desk, that strap of his hoodie past his lips, finger gently sliding over the screen of his phone and…

There it is again.

It’s a little bit more persistent now. A little longer, but still just as gentle. Steve gasps for breath, clenching at the sensation of it. He closes his eyes and lets out a long, shuddering breath at it.

Steve leaves his paint jars in the sink, with a feeling that he best not have them in his hands for when Bucky decides to have some real fun with him. And sure enough, Bucky is intending to play.

Steve lets out a soft moan when he feels the next surge of vibration, still soft and gentle, and presses his hand down the front of his sweatpants. He’s already grown harder, and a dash of fear washes over him. What if Bucky decides to stop now? Leave Steve hanging for an hour, two hours. All day?

Bucky doesn’t, and there’s another soft surge of the plug, and then near the end it intensifies. A different surge in power that has Steve whine. He reaches in his pants now, gives himself a stroke and pulls back the foreskin from the head of his cock. Brushing thumb just barely over it. It makes him whimper again as the feeling burns through his body.

“God damn it…” Steve breathes when the vibration stops again. He lets out a chuckle, brushing his hand through his hair while he catches his breath again. He shifts to lean back against the fridge, hand still down his pants. Feeling himself grow larger, he gives himself a stroke, then another one, and waits for Bucky to begin again.

Steve imagines Bucky in a position similar to his own. That thick dick in his hand, slowly teasing himself. Lips parted as he breathes heavily, just enough to show that little glint of a metal stud in his tongue. Phone in his hand, leaving Steve at his mercy nearly five thousand miles away.

The thought really is far more arousing than Steve originally had thought.

Bucky starts another surge, this one starts more intense. Picking up where he had left off at the previous moment. Bucky draws it out, leaving Steve rocking his hips into his hand, hair still in his other. Then he softens it, leaving Steve whimper in dismay as he wants more of it.

“C’mon Buck.” Steve breathes out to them both, even if he’s the only one who can hear it. But it seems like Bucky does on his end of the world, and it picks up again, leaving Steve gasping for breath as every muscle tenses up in his body. A pathetic whine leaves his throat, and the tension in his muscles doesn’t ease up until Bucky does, leaving him breathless, smiling.

Because he knows that wasn’t even the worst the butt plug could throw at him. He takes the moment where he’s allowed to breathe, allowed to recover as a chance to strip out of his sweatpants. He never bothered with underwear, not with the knowledge of their plan for the day.

The next time it starts, it leaves Steve struggling to stand. The muscles in his thighs cramp to the point where it’s almost painful. Leaving him moaning and shaking. Steve brushes his hand over his chest, imagines his touch to be Bucky’s. Imagines Bucky standing behind him all strong and solid, pinching his nipple. Pressing that thick cock to the curve of Steve’s ass, and a strong hand around Steve’s own. Stroking it while whispering filth in his ear, biting down hard and sharp where neck meets shoulder.

“God.” Steve moans again, Bucky doesn’t give him breaks now, he only lowers the surge of the plug down to that soft tickle that gathers all the warmth in his stomach. Steve’s still rocking his hips into his hand, hoping, desperately trying to feel more of the sensation that sends fireworks cascading through his body.

His shirt feels thick, warm and uncomfortable against his skin, and he feels like he can’t breathe. It’s a struggle to get it over his head and thrown to the floor. And when he does the chill of the kitchen brings a whole new level of enjoyment over him.

Steve grips the counter to keep standing, another long moan being pulled from him, thighs trembling, he moves his hand from his cock to his balls. Presses his palm against them and makes a whimper from the sensation that it gives him. He imagines that the plug is actually Bucky’s fingers, even if the two wouldn’t even feel remotely the same inside of him.

He imagines it’s Bucky who has him pinned down to a bed, one hand pressed firmly against his ass to keep him in place while two, no, three fingers slide with ease inside of him. Slick from lube and even Bucky’s own spit, something which otherwise doesn’t turn him on. He imagines it’s them sliding in, twisting, and pulling back out again. All while Steve’s muffling his moans in the pillow.

And all at once. Steve realises he wants Bucky to hear him moan. He wants to have Bucky coax him through his control. Wants Bucky to talk Steve through the orgasm that’s inevitably closing in. He scrambles for his phone that’s laying on the kitchen table. He unlocks it just before Bucky gives him another surge, and this time Steve’s knees actually double underneath him.

He lets out his moans in the crook of his arm against the table while his body shudders out of pleasure. The vibration of Mr. Dependable hitting him just right, the idea of Bucky’s fingers in his ass, of Bucky behind him, biting down in his neck while jerking him off. That thick cock with the piercing on the underside slide out of Steve’s mouth and…

He wants Bucky to fuck him senseless until he can’t remember his name.

Steve’s back is glistening with a thin layer of sweat as he unlocks his phone. It doesn’t take him long to find Bucky’s chat window in the whatsapp app and presses the phone on the top right of his screen. It goes over to dial instantly. It occurs to him that as soon as Bucky stops the vibration of the plug might stop. He doesn’t care, Bucky can put on speaker and switch to the app.

It does stop the moment he hears Bucky’s deep voice in his ear. There’s no sweetness to it, a shortness of breath. Steve knows in an instant that means Bucky is jerking himself off. “ _Hello darlin._ ” There’s that slant in his words, his clear hint of accent. Steve whines.

“Please,” he begs. Swallows thickly.

“ _Please what?_ ”

“It stopped.” Steve tells him, but it’s a well needed break. As much as his body craves it, he does need to breathe, he does need to think… somewhat.

“ _Oh._ ” Bucky lets out a soft breath. Then all that Steve hears is a fumble by the phone while he’s on his knees in his kitchen floor, shivering and panting. Just before it begins again, one last thought flashes through Steve’s mind. $180 well spent.

It begins slowly, building up and has Steve groaning, trembling, tensing up the muscles in his shoulder, in his ass, still humping his hips in the air. And then grows stronger, and stronger, and stronger until Steve’s moan is cut off, and for a moment no sound passes his lips. He feels like he’s going to cum right then and there, but Bucky eases it up again. He wants to reach down, but Steve knows that the moment he lays his hand on himself he’ll cum. And he doesn’t want that. He wants to cum from Bucky alone.

“Please.” Steve begs again, clutching on his phone like it’s a damn lifeline. There’s still that steady thrum of vibration surging through him, lighting up his veins and arteries with white, bright light. Every nerve seems to be on fire, the touch of anyone, even just the soft tip of a finger would be to much.

“ _Please what darling?_ ” Bucky’s voice is right in his ear. Speaker still on, lips barely an inch away from them as he relays his message to Steve.

“Please just let me cum.” Steve whines, moans and shudders. He feels like he’s about to cry. Maybe he already is. His cheeks feel wet. He’s just not sure if it’s from sweat or tears, or maybe both. He can’t remember ever feeling this good in his life.

“ _Ohhh._ ” Bucky breathes into the phone. And Steve whines when he feels how the plug begins to work harder inside of him. A breathy gasp leaves his lips. “ _Well why didn’t you just say so? You say stop darling._ ”

And then Bucky makes it go faster, feel harder and Steve _whimpers._ It builds, strong and unrelenting, bit by bit so all Steve is able of letting out are repeats of the same moan over and over, faster and quicker. Exhaling more than he’s able to take in air and he wishes, wishes so desperately for Bucky to be beneath him. To feel that warm, pulsing body in between his thighs and have something to grind down on. To grind down that pierced cock and then.

“There, there, there, there Buck oh god.” Steve isn’t certain how he manages to speak so many words alone. But all of a sudden the plug vibrates inside him just right, just perfect and sending wave after wave of pleasure through his body. And Bucky stops it, lets it run its course through Steve’s body that’s both trembling and twitching and tensing and… something gives way.

Steve lets out a sob in the crook of his arm as he cums, and reaches Nirvana.

There’s a cramp in his neck and back that feels blissfully sweet. Warmth washing over every little bit of skin. Pleasure so deep and so intense that he’s not even sure where in his body he had it building up in the first place. He’s shivering, whimpering, and Bucky lets him ride out the pleasure as he lowers the intensity of the plug bit by bit, not to fast to brutally awaken him and bring him back to reality. But not too slow to leave him oversensitive.

When it comes to a stop entirely, Steve realises he had been crying. All his muscles seem to go slack all at once, his eyes fall shut and he leans with his entire body weight against his kitchen table. It scrapes over the floor, and Steve let’s out another sob.

“ _Steve? Steve, you alright?_ ” Bucky asks, concern in his voice, and Steve laughs.

Is he alright, Bucky wants to know. Oh Bucky, if you only knew, Steve thinks.

“Mm.” He murmurs, pressing the phone to his ear and resting against his chair again, shifting his legs underneath him so he can stretch them out. The seating of the chair digs uncomfortably in his side, but Steve’s far to blissful to care. “‘m great.” Steve mutters with shut eyes.

“ _Oh_.” Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. “ _I heard noise, I thought you fell_.”

“Was already on the floor.” Steve admits with a giggle. He brushes his fingers through his now damp hair. He really needs a shower, but it can wait, Steve thinks. First, he wants to sleep for what feels like an eternity. “That was great.”

“ _Yeah…_ ” Bucky’s voice is smooth, like that of silk. Gently caressing his skin, pressing soft kisses against him. “ _We’ll have to do that again sometime, I want to see if you writhe half as much as I imagined you did._ ”

Steve giggles again. “‘m all for it.” He mutters lazily in the phone. He wants to see Bucky cum from it too. In his own euphoria he didn’t even hear, or notice if Bucky came. Somehow, he can’t think about that now. He can’t think any strain of thought for longer than five seconds anyway.

“ _Be sure to drink some water okay?_ ” Bucky asks him, concern still etched in his voice. Steve nods, as if his answer will get through to Bucky that way. He brushes his hand lightly on the skin by his neck, and let’s out a soft gasp as surges off electricity, pleasure, Steve isn’t entirely sure what, makes its way down his chest and back.

“Hey Buck?” Steve swallows, throat thick still, his head feels heavy, so he rests it against his arm. He hears the soft murmur that indicates that Bucky is listening. “Do you want to meet up with me?”

“ _Meet up with you?_ ” Bucky asks surprised. Steve nods again, his head lolling. Sam’s words whispering in the back of his head.

Do you honestly believe that he wants you for you?

Yes. 

No. 

Maybe. 

_“Yeah, Steve. I’d love to meet up with you.”_

_Yes. _


	2. London Calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the boarding begins, he takes one last chance of his mobile network and sends a snapchat of himself, smiling widely and holding up his ticket and book. Types quickly that he’s boarding and sends it to Bucky, who’s snapchat name is also RedStar. He feels the vibration in his pocket when the stewardess checks his ticket and his passport before welcoming him on board. Just moments before he gets on the plane, he checks the response. 
> 
> Bucky sent a selfie back, himself with his mouth open in an excited expression. He’s wearing a beanie, and his hair doesn’t seem to be put up. There’s small flakes of snow in it. Beside him, also in the picture, is a woman with bright red hair, an amused pout decorating a dry expression. He’s typed can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

“Right, you got everything?” Sam asks, patting down Steve’s jacket as if he’ll find something that Steve isn’t allowed to take on the plane. Steve snorts and let him go about it. “Ticket, passport? Pounds?”

“You’re acting as if I’ve never gone on a plane before,” Steve chuckles amused, shoves Sam’s hands off him. “Yes. I’ve got my ticket, I’ve got my passport. I’ve got English pound. You have my keys as agreed. I’ve got some dollars on me to buy a book or a sandwich or whatever. My phone is charged. Peggy is picking me up. I’ve got this, Sam.” Steve winks to him. Sam lets out a non-committal whine.

It hadn’t taken long for him, and Bucky to settle on where to meet. They both agreed that one or the other flying over to New York or Moscow was too much of a distance, and not fair on the other. So they agreed to meet up in the middle and see each other on unfamiliar ground, well at least to a certain extent.

Steve had been to London for a summer before, having taken an art class there. He would be staying with Peggy, who he had befriended all those years ago and still kept in touch with. She was only glad to house him for a couple of days. Bucky had liked the idea of London as well, telling Steve that he had never been there and he had a friend who had always wanted to go, so they’d arrive a few days before and wander around together.

Bucky was currently spending his second day in London, and Steve had a flight that was leaving in three hours. Tomorrow at this time, he would meet Bucky face to face for the first time. The ten hour long flight would be grueling, and painfully slow Steve imagined. His hands were already shaking at the idea.

Sam smiles up to him, gently patting Steve on his cheek before pulling him in for a hug. Steve moves his arms around Sam’s back, holding him tight. “I hope this turns out well for you. I truly do,” Sam whispered in his ear.

They said their goodbyes to one another, and Steve spends the rest of the early morning wandering through the JFK airport, watching the people sleeping on chairs in between layovers. Couples trying to keep their fussy children content and young folk in the sport bars, drinking beers and not caring at all over the games that are being played.

He buys himself an outrageously expensive sandwich, which is disappointingly only cheese and ham. And a book, which he reads the last hour waiting at his gate. He can’t sleep, Steve feels too jittery for that.

When the boarding begins, he takes one last chance of his mobile network and sends a snapchat of himself, smiling widely and holding up his ticket and book. Types quickly that he’s boarding and sends it to Bucky, who’s snapchat name is also RedStar. He feels the vibration in his pocket when the stewardess checks his ticket and his passport before welcoming him on board. Just moments before he gets on the plane, he checks the response.

Bucky sent a selfie back, himself with his mouth open in an excited expression. He’s wearing a beanie, and his hair doesn’t seem to be put up. There’s small flakes of snow in it. Beside him, also in the picture, is a woman with bright red hair, an amused pout decorating a dry expression. He’s typed _can’t wait to see you tomorrow._

 

*

 

Peggy is bouncing up and down on the spot when Steve spots her in the terminal. Quickening his pace, he reaches up to her in a quick couple of strides and scoops her off her feet. Peggy lets out a light shriek and puts her arms around his neck. Beside them, Steve’s roll-on suitcase falls down.

“You look so good!” Peggy exclaims when Steve puts her down again on the floor, placing both of her hands on his cheeks and let’s out a soft _ooooh_ , moving his head gently side to side so she can admire him. “I’m liking the beard, Steve. It looks good on you. How are you?! How was the flight? No screaming kids? Gods, you look exhausted.”

Steve laughs at the sudden influx of questions and picks up his suitcase again. “Yeah?” He asks hopefully, brushing his fingers over the beard he’s been trying to grow and keep for the past few months. He finds himself quite pleased of it. “You think it looks good?”

Peggy smiles widely, biting down on a bright red lip as she nods. Then Steve begins to tackle her questions as they start walking towards the exit. “I’m good, real excited. The flight was alright, some kid was screaming, but I had headphones. So I just watched a movie instead. Couldn’t sleep, didn’t sleep before coming to the airport. Was no point, besides. Too jittery.” He admits with a shrug of his shoulders and takes Peggy’s hand, swinging it as they walk. “Tell me? Is there still snow? Bucky sorta showed it snowed.”

At that Peggy cackles, throwing her head back. “Steve, darling, you can’t call that snow. It was like an inch that barely stayed. Turned to slush instantly. The whole city just fell still, people were afraid to drive. So it was quite easy to get out here to pick you up actually. The M4 was actually abandoned. Which was a first for me.”

“Think we’ll have the same luck driving back?” Steve asks, hoping that there is some benevolent god shining a bright light on them. He’s stiff from the drive to JFK in Sam’s car. Stiff from uncomfortable chairs in JFK. Stiff from a seven hour flight  in seats that are accustomed to most people but don’t fit him as well as they once used to anymore. And the idea to be stuck in London traffic is not one that appeals to him.

“We should do, at least until we reach the West End. You never know how it’s going to be there, now.” Peggy shrugs. “You hungry? We should order in food. There’s this new place in the area that delivers. An Indian place, does that sound alright?” They’re greeted by a cold breeze as they leave the airport, and a light drizzle of rain.

“That sounds absolutely fantastic.” Steve agrees. He is starving. The sandwich he bought for breakfast left him nauseous, and the meal that he got on the plane was far from appetizing. Something proper with a good glass of wine is just what he needs before he crawls to bed.

The ride into London goes with ease. The M4 just like Peggy told him, is indeed abandoned. And the traffic doesn’t pick up until they start to reach the heart of the city. The snow and slush now having melted away and just raining, brings the Londoners back out into trusted pavement and cemented roads. Peggy complains about that, saying that driving is an absolute pain and declares that originally intended to sell her car to save on insurance, parking and a bunch of other costs before Steve called. She tells him that she takes the bus or the underground for the most of her travel out of the city, anyway, and hardly ever leaves London anymore.

When they finally reach her apartment, Steve takes a much needed shower while Peggy orders them the Indian take out. He washes what feels like a second skin off him, and feels like a brand new human when he steps out of the shower again. Slightly more awake now, but Steve knows that it’s only temporarily.

Dressed warmly, because Peggy keeps her apartment quite a bit colder than Steve keeps his own, he joins her in her kitchen just as she uncorks a bottle of wine. He asks her a little bit about her work while he goes through his phone, texting Sam that he arrived and that he’s with Peggy. Connects to her internet and checks his email. He’s received a bunch of other Snapchat’s from Bucky and his friend out and about in London. He practically feels butterflies in his stomach when he spots that one of the pictures is on Oxford Street, less than ten minutes away from where he is now in Marylebone.

The food arrives less than ten minutes later. Peggy tasks Steve with taking out plates and cutlery, while she goes and pays. They dish up, start eating, and that’s when Peggy’s self-control or patience, or maybe both, breaks.

“So.” She begins, shifting a bit in her chair. “Tell me the plan for tomorrow? Have you guys made one yet?” She asks curiously, scooping a bit of rice in her mouth as she watches him with bright and attentive eyes. Steve smiles so widely he feels it in his cheeks. He’s been doing that a lot the past few days he’s noticed, when he packed his suitcase he practically couldn’t stop.

“Some, roughly.” Steve admits, they hadn’t thought _that_ far ahead. They both agreed on meeting up in the morning with one another. “We said in the morning, so that’ll be around like nine? We haven’t decided a place yet. We’d call at some point tonight to hammer that down.” Steve looks at the clock on the wall. Eight in the evening. They probably should call soon.

Peggy nods, and seems somewhat pleased with Steve’s answer. “Do you know where he’s staying?”

“Some hotel on Edgware Road. So he’s really not that far off from us now.” Steve says with a shrug. It’s making him wonder if Bucky and his friend are still roaming the streets.

“No, he’s not.” She agrees. “Why don’t you call him now? See if we can figure something out?”

“And here I thought I wouldn’t be rude and not call until after dinner.” Steve teases, but he’s already tapping away on his phone. Peggy snorts and rolls her eyes, taking a sip of her wine.

It takes a little while for Bucky to answer the phone, and when he does it’s to the sound of traffic in the background. “‘ _lo?”_

“Hey Bucky. It’s Steve.” Steve puts down the fork on his plate and feels how his heart is beating wildly in his chest. “Guess who’s in London?” He winks to Peggy, who looks at him in an endearing way.

“ _You are!_ ” Bucky answers his question with the same amount of enthusiasm as someone who just won a million dollars in a game show. “ _How was your flight? Did you make it alright?”_

“It was fine, no bumps or nothing.” Steve takes the chance to sip of his own wine. He’s feeling warm and fuzzy again. Tired from the trip, filled with food, happy with wine. “How’s London treating you two so far, you had fun?”

“ _Yeah it’s been great, rainy but great. We did uhh, what’s it called. The big shopping street. Nat wanted to blow all her pocket change.”_ Bucky laughs, a wonderfully happy sound. The traffic disappears, and Steve figures they’ve entered a store. “ _And Carnaby street. That was rather cool. We’re looking for a place to eat now though we’re absolutely starving.”_ There’s a rumble beside him and Bucky pauses, then responds in the same manner. Russian, Steve realises with a warming weight in his stomach. “ _So yeah, food. When we find something we like and that isn’t cramped or abandoned ya know? What about you? You settling in? Make it to your friend alright?”_

“Yeah she’s sitting right in front of me.” Steve smiles up to Peggy again, who’s finished her plate now and is leaning back in her chair, letting out a heavy breath with her hand on her stomach. “Probably wont do much tonight, just relax.”

“ _You’ve had a long day.”_ Bucky agrees. “ _Put yourself in front of the tv and fall asleep to a movie or something, you deserve a bit of rest.”_

_“_ Probably will do that. Hey listen, I wanted to settle something with you for tomorrow. I’m going to put you on speaker okay?”

“ _Sure, go for it.”_

Steve fumbles with his phone, turning on speaker and turning the volume all the way up. He puts it in the middle of the table in between him and Peggy, who now leans forward with perked interest.

“Bucky this is my friend Peggy, she’ll be coming with me tomorrow.” Steve tells him, and without being able to help it gestures to Peggy. She doesn’t notice however.

“Hi love!” She tells him on that same cheerful tone that only Peggy can master.

“ _Hi, nice to meet you. Hear from you? I don’t know what to say in this sort of situation.”_ Bucky laughs, a deep and rolling sound.

“Meet you will do just fine.” Peggy laughs. “Listen, I’ve had a thought. Steve tells me you two are staying somewhere on Edgware Road. I’ve got a suggestion of where we could meet tomorrow if that’s alright with you?”

_“Hey you’re a native, I’m not gonna argue against your suggestions.”_

“Clever boy.” Peggy teases him with a chuckle. Steve rolls his eyes. “So listen, if you walk all the way down the street, you’ll reach Marble Arch. I’m sure you two have figured that out by now. Well that’s not too far from where we are. So how about we use that as a meeting point? From what I understand you both know what the other looks like so if we agree on meeting on the side facing Edgware road, we should find each other nice and easy in no time at all.”

_“Sounds like a good plan to me, we walked down the street this morning and saw the arch and all so. It’s not like we’ll get lost on our way or anything. What do you think, Steve?”_

“All I’m thinking is eight or nine in the morning.” Steve admits with a chuckle. “What time?”

“ _Nine? I mean you just had a long ass flight and time difference to deal with and all, might do you good to get some sleep.”_

_“_ Bucky I’m so excited I’m like a kid before Christmas, I don’t think I’ll get much sleep tonight.” Steve’s smirking widely. His pulse is racing. He looks at the clock again. Still eight in the evening, but now it’s a matter of twelve or thirteen hours again before he gets to see Bucky in the flesh.

“Don’t believe a word of what he’s saying, Bucky, it’s Bucky isn’t it? Steve’s looking like he’s about to drop.” Peggy chimes in. Bucky laughs, oh it’s a wonderful laugh.

_“Let’s say nine then. That okay, Stevie?”_

“Nine.” Steve agrees, a little bit to his will. But he knows it’s for the best.

“ _Nine then.”_ Bucky pauses. _“I can’t wait.”_

 

*

 

Just before Steve tucks himself to bed for the night his phone dings. It’s another Snapchat message from Bucky. This time it’s another selfie of him and his friend in what appears to be an Italian restaurant. The woman is just shoving a spoonful of spaghetti in her mouth and looks at the camera in terror at having been caught in such an unflattering moment.

The caption is _Really can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Have a good night of sleep darling_ and a kissing emoji.

 

*

 

Bucky and his friend are already standing by the arch when he and Peggy reach it in the morning. And he looks absolutely wonderful.

He’s smiling widely at something that his friend says with an amused expression. He’s wearing the same dark green beanie that he did the previous day, but now it seems like his hair is up in a bun. His jacket is the same colour as the beanie, and looks big and poofy on him despite sitting tightly around his waist and has a variety of patches on the arms. His hands are shoved into his pockets. He’s wearing tight black jeans with combat boots with bright blue laces, there’s chains hanging by his waist, and seems to be wearing two studded belts. And his thighs…

Steve would murder for those thick thighs.

He’s so wrapped up in Bucky, that he doesn’t even register how Bucky’s friend looks at first beside the red hair.

“There he is!” He exclaims, turning to Peggy for a split second while smacking her on her arm.

“Well, go on then!” She says, moving away from him into a safer vicinity and laughs. “Go to him!” She urges him on and nods towards Bucky. She doesn’t have to tell him twice.

Steve just leaves her behind and picks up the pace, practically skipping over to Bucky. Bucky doesn’t notice him at first, but it’s the red-haired friend that points Steve out to him. And when Bucky turns his head to look at the direction she’s pointing at, his mouth drops open. Almost as if he can’t believe it.

Then life shoots back into Bucky and he shrieks, basically pouncing at Steve when he gets close enough and throws his arms around Steve’s neck to hug him tight. Steve laughs, and moves his arms around Bucky’s firm chest and back and buries his nose in his neck. He smells like cigarettes and teak.

Steve lets out a squeak when it hits him all of a sudden that RedStar is hugging him right now. That Bucky who he’s barely been able to scrape out of his mind is finally there, in the flesh, pressed firmly against Steve. In one quick sudden instant, Bucky becomes real.

Bucky is the one to break the hug, to stop standing on his toes and pulls away all while making sure he stays in Steve’s embrace. His hands move from around Steve’s neck to resting on his shoulders. Then he touches Steve’s neck. His jaw, strokes his thumbs over Steve’s bearded cheeks and lets out an adorable _fucking giggle_ while looking at Steve.

“It’s you.” Bucky breathes out. “It’s really you, look at you, you look…” Bucky trails of, and his blue eyes dart all over Steve’s face, over his shoulder and chest, his arms and then back up again to his face and he giggles again. “God, you look amazing. Jesus christ, some damn greek statue.”

In real life, Bucky’s Russian accent is only more prominent.

It gives Steve a moment to really study Bucky’s face. He’s wearing his nose ring, and he’s shaved for their meeting. His bright smile lights up his face. His eyes are a bright cold blue, without losing a touch of friendliness. He’s wearing a couple of leather necklaces, and now for the first time Steve sees that he’s got a stretch earring in his right ear. It’s a small size, and doesn’t come across as obnoxious. In fact, it rather suits him.  

He turns to say something to the red haired woman in Russian, she just shrugs in response. The amused expression seems to be her permanent one, and Bucky focuses back to Steve and takes a deep breath.

“It’s really you…” Is all that Steve manages to mutter stupidly, and then he pulls in Bucky for another hug. Bucky laughs and throws his arms around Steve’s shoulders, going as far as letting Steve pick him up a little bit with the movement. All Steve’s worries that had been building up around breakfast of how their first initial meeting would go are washed away now. And all he thinks is _Bucky Bucky Bucky RedStar_ and _Bucky_ over again while he smells the cigarettes and teak and… and he feels Bucky’s bracelets against his back through their jackets.

“Ahem.” Peggy clears her throat, breaking the two men apart with a soft smile. Awkwardly, both Steve and Bucky remember their company and break apart, letting go of one another while all Steve wants to do is let his hand trail down all of Bucky’s arm and take his hand in his own. They’re all standing in a circle, Steve is positive that he’s blushing with the heat that he feels on his cheeks. It’s not from the cold.

Bucky is still grinning widely, and brings his hand up to rub his neck, then slides his thumb to his lips in that nervous movement that Steve’s learned to recognize now. His nails are painted black, and Steve wants to take his hand and kiss his knuckles.

But that might be a bit too soon.

“Hi.” Bucky seems to remember his manners and extends his hand to Peggy. She reaches out to take it. “I’m Bucky.” He tells her, all while smirking to Steve. As if he wants to say that he’s got no intention of apologizing for forgetting the world for a little bit. Peggy smiles as if to say that all is already forgiven. “This is my friend, Natasha.” Bucky remembers the woman beside him, and points to her.

“Hi.” Steve reaches out to shake her hand first. She’s wearing a grey coat and uncrosses her arms to shake his.

“Hello.” She says on a quiet voice. When she let’s go of Steve’s hand she shakes Peggy, who greets her as well.

The four of them fall into an awkward silence for a couple of seconds. Standing in a circle as if they’re kicking an invisible ball in between them before Bucky breaks it with laughing, and pulling in Steve for another hug. Steve’s grateful for the rescue, and grateful to be holding Bucky close to him again. They’re the same height, he notices, but Steve still feels taller. Steve’s broader, and Bucky isn’t quite as broad. Except for those thighs…

And the muscles that he felt in Bucky’s biceps.

It turns his mouth dry.

Natasha brushes some of her hair behind her ear while muttering something in Russian. Bucky looks like a deer in headlights for a moment before a flash of red colours his face. He hisses her name while smacking her on her arm. Natasha sounds rough the way he pronounces it, Steve figures that it’s the Russian way of pronouncing it.

“She said something dirty didn’t she?” It’s not really a question, it’s a statement. Bucky looks at him, a little bit sheepish and nods, he’s massaging his neck again and lets out a soft chuckle. Steve narrows his eyes to Natasha, amused, but curious. “What did she say?”

“Uhm.” Bucky splutters, and he turns if possible even redder in his face. He stammers for a bit, before he seems to reach some level of inner peace in accepting that the words that he’s translating, aren’t his own. “She said that she understands why I couldn’t wait to suck your dick.” Bucky translates, while glaring at Natasha who looks content with herself.

“Oh did she?” Steve snorts. “Tell her, not if I get to sucking yours first.” The words flow out of him with little thought and consideration. A confidence deep and buried within him that only seems to shine in moments like this. Bucky makes a sound that’s a combination of a chuckle and a whine. Beside Steve, Peggy is muttering _Oh lord_ under her breath and begins to shake her head.

Natasha starts tugging at Bucky’s jacket, repeating the same three words over and over until Bucky smacks her hand away. Steve smirks, content with himself and doesn’t take his eyes away from Natasha. Bucky reaches the same inner peace again and repeats what Steve said, in Russian. Her mouth drops open as she hears it, then she throws her head back in one short cackle. She says something else in Russian and waves with her hand. This, Bucky translates without a hiccup. He’s still red in his face.

“She says she likes you.” He looks happy at that, albeit still a bit embarrassed by the exchange.

“Well it seems like you two boys will get along just fine and wont need us anymore.” Peggy declares. She isn’t blushing, but Steve isn’t surprised that she all of a sudden feels rather desperate to leave. “Steve, you have your key?” She asks again, knowing full and well that it’s safely tucked in his front pocket of his jeans. She had given him her spare key in the morning, incase he needed to do a walk of shame or let himself in late at night.

“Got it.” Steve doesn’t point that fact out, and pats the pocket that holds the key. Peggy turns to Natasha.

“Would you like for me to show you around?” Peggy offers politely. Natasha looks confused to Peggy, and then glances to Bucky who raises his shoulders.

“She doesn’t speak English.” He explains, before translating once more for her. Natasha’s face lights up when she hears it, and she smiles brightly at Peggy before her brows furrow. She brushes the same strand of hair as earlier behind her ear again.

“Thank… you?” She says, and Steve thinks that it’s odd to watch a woman who radiates of confidence, sound so insecure. She reaches for her pocket, and pulls out a phone. They all wait in a circle as she taps away on it, then presses a button. With a robotic voice, her phone speaks in English, telling Peggy that she would like that. Peggy looks a bit daunted at the prospect, but the offer is out there now and Steve knows she’s not someone to back away from a challenge. She takes out her own phone to go to google translate.

Bucky mutters something to Natasha and leans in to give her a kiss. She smirks and pats him on his cheek. It occurs to Steve that Bucky bid her goodbye, and he distracts Peggy for a short moment with a hug.  “Be safe.” She whispers to him on a low voice, pats his back and lets go.

Bucky nods away from the two women and starts to walk, shoving his hands back in the pockets of his jacket. Steve follows suit and wishes he could take one of Bucky’s hands in his own.

“So.” Bucky asks while looking at him with a smile. “What do you want to do?”

_You,_ Steve thinks. But the previous courage that instantly dropped a comment back to Natasha seems to have left him now. And instead what passes Steve’s lips is- “Everything.”

 

*

 

They do a wonderful mix of everything.

Steve does his best to show Bucky around in the city that he knew once upon a time for a full summer. But it turns out that a lot of things change, and Bucky has already seen a good chunk of London in the previous two days that he’s wandered around with Natasha.

“Don’t worry.” Bucky tells him early on. “I left plenty of stuff undone for just the two of us.” And he winks at Steve. It makes him weak in his knees.

So what Steve does, is walk them through Hyde Park, with the intention of taking Bucky to the Science Museum. Figuring that Bucky must get some thrill out of it, being a self-admitting nerd. The walk through the park is nice, and they never once fall into silence with one another. Talking with such ease as if they’ve known each other for all of their lives. And Steve tries to make Bucky laugh as much as possible, wanting to hear that laugh as much as he can.

And in the Science Museum, Bucky becomes like a small child.

He’s bouncing from exhibition to exhibition and reads every plaque. Steve, with little interest in the exhibition himself, winds up watching Bucky more, and he notices that when Bucky reads something with utmost focus, his lips form the words that his eyes are seeing. And then he shoots into an explanation to Steve that goes far more in depth than what’s written down. So really. Steve doesn’t have to read the plaques, he’d much rather listen to Bucky.

And Bucky bounces from every interactable puzzle and table to the other, not really caring that they’re meant for the little kids but does them himself with such glee that it infects Steve along with it. Steve also notices, that when Bucky watching something something with intent, that he pushes the small stud from his tongue in between his teeth.

After that, because it is the building right next to it and for free, they decide to go to the Natural History Museum. They spend more time than what’s actually necessary looking at the dinosaur bones, but quickly agree that it was time well spent. The mummy exhibit they both decide to skip the moment they see how cramped it is, and browse through the gift shop.

They find a place to eat not too far off, and it’s nice to just sit down with Bucky for a moment and talk. Bucky tells him why he moved to Russia (school) and tells him why he wound up staying (the adventure). Steve tells him what brought him to London in the first place all those years ago (the art) and what he loved the most about it (the city itself).

After Steve finishes, Bucky gets a smug expression and leans in over the table and folds his arms on the table, he suggests that they go to the national gallery together. Steve’s heart flutters in his chest at the suggestion. So they pay, and take the underground to Charing Cross to avoid the rain that’s coming down.

When they come back up, Bucky takes one look at the sky and takes a breath. “It’s going to snow.” Bucky tells Steve with a smirk.

In the gallery, it’s Bucky’s turn to listen to Steve as he talks on about the painters and the paintings themselves. He doesn’t say much, nor does he ask much. But he’s looking at Steve while he explains, with an endearing expression that Steve tries hard to act like he doesn’t notice. But he does, every time Steve looks away from the painting while he’s talking to look at Bucky, he’s watching Steve as if he’s watching the galaxy. Corners of his mouth turned just slightly upward that it makes Steve think of the freaking Mona Lisa and…

It makes the tips of his ears go red, and Bucky closes in on Steve’s personal space, their hands now barely brushing by one another. And Steve finds that he doesn’t mind much at all. It’s nice, having Bucky’s full attention and so close to him.

By the time they leave the gallery, it’s dark outside and still not snowing. It’s even stopped raining. But Bucky just looks pleased with himself. “It’ll come. Mark my words.”

He refuses to share the knowledge of how he knows with Steve, however.

Since it’s a fifteen minute walk and just across the Themes, they decide to make their next stop the aquarium. Whenever Steve manages to make Bucky laugh, he now bumps into his side, which Steve loves more than he’s willing to admit.

They settle for the ticket that also includes a ride on the London Eye once Bucky expresses it’s something he’d like to do. The aquarium is a nice change of pace, it’s more relaxed. There’s less people wandering around, giving them both the time to look at all the fish and point out the funny looking ones. They both have to contain themselves when they find a fish with a serious case of underbite, and end up taking to one another for support.

After that it’s free game to touch one another's backs, and Steve loves the gentle touch of Bucky’s palm on the small of his back when he’s pointing something out for Steve. They remain seated in front of the Shark Tank for fifteen minute in silence, just staring at the creatures as they swim past in front of their eyes in complete and utter silence.

Once they exit the aquarium, Bucky drags Steve down the escalators to the arcade, where they spend the next hour playing away on games together. It turns out that Bucky has a knack for all the shooting games, and makes Steve laugh by pretending to blow away smoke from the plastic gun when he’s finished yet another flawless round.

In return, Steve is the one that kicks Bucky’s ass at air hockey. They scrape together enough enough tokens for a bag of sweets, which they share. As they leave there’s a light rain again but they both agree to still go on the London Eye now when there’s hardly any queue.

Just before they reach the top, it starts to snow. Bucky winks at him. “I told you it would snow.” And he takes Steve’s hand in his own.

 

*

 

“Natasha can never, _ever_ find out we had dinner at the Rainforest Cafe.” Bucky declared the moment they left the restaurant and started walking up the street. Steve laughed, giving Bucky’s hand a squeeze. “I mean the food was fucking A, but she’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“You going to hide the frog from her for all eternity?” Steve asked, pointing at the sandbag frog that was currently riding along in the front pocket of Bucky’s jacket. Bright blue with splotches of light green and pink over it. Bucky made a noise, and reached for his pocket as if to pet Steve’s little present.

They had found the frog on their way out of the restaurant and Bucky had squealed before declaring that it was adorable. So Steve had done the first thing that came to mind and snatched it out of Bucky’s hands and ran to pay. He had annoyed a mother with a four year old with his behaviour, but Steve didn’t really care. It had been worth it to see Bucky’s wide smile when Steve handed it back to him.

Really, it had been the least that Steve could do in return to Bucky for paying for their dinner, and treating Steve to a dessert that neither of them had been able to finish.

“Excuse you? His name is Hector-Philipe!” Bucky exclaimed, patting the newly dubbed Hector-Philipe in his chest pocket. Steve laughed again.

“Hector-Philipe? You’ve already named him?” He asked impressed. A doofy kind of smile spreads over Bucky’s face as he looks down to the frog.

“Yeah.” Bucky says content. “I’mma make him a little nest on my desk so he can watch me work. He’s a cute little shit.”

“He is.” Steve agrees, but he looks at Bucky when he says it rather than the frog. For someone who looks so rough from a distance with his full punk attire, he’s a warm and happy person. One of a kind, and Steve has never met anyone else he’s been as fascinated with Bucky. Maybe there is such a thing like soul mates after all.

“I had a lot of fun today.” Bucky then says, lets go of his frog and gives Steve that doofy smile instead. It’s still snowing, and the little flakes of it lay on his beanie and on the shoulders of his jacket. It makes him look stunningly beautiful.

“Me too.” Steve tells him, and wishes that the evening wouldn’t end. But it’s ten in the evening. And while Steve goes to the gym and works out, his back is starting to hurt from bad choice of shoes, his feet hurt, and there’s an ache in his legs from having walked well over the minimum of ten thousand steps recommended a day.

But even London is going to bed, and there’s little for them to do. Steve almost wants to suggest they find themselves a pub somewhere and share a drink or two with one another before calling a night. But he feels exhausted, and he feels the jet lag climbing up his spine to hit him with a club.

“So… same time tomorrow? You’re not sick of me yet?” Bucky asks him, he sounds hopeful, almost a little bit insecure. Instantly Steve wonders what he possibly could have done to give Bucky that idea.

“Bucky.” Steve brings up their hands to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of Bucky’s hand. He sees how Bucky takes a breath and holds it, his mouth dropped slightly open, blue eyes taking in everything Steve does. And it feels good, to press his lips against Bucky’s skin. “I don’t think I could ever get sick of you, and I’d love to see you again at the same time tomorrow.”

For just as long, if not longer, Steve really doesn’t want the night to end. But he doesn’t know how to bring that up with Bucky. What does he even say? And he’d risk getting tired on him, get cranky, and give Bucky a reason not to want to see him.

“Oh.” Bucky relaxes and lets out the breath that he’s been holding. The Mona Lisa smile is back on his lips, there’s a faint shade of pink on his cheekbones, and for his sake Steve pretends that it is the cold. “That… I-” He lets out a nervous chuckle, and tears his eyes away. Steve smiles and lowers their hands again, he knows Bucky doesn’t mean anything bad with it. He’s startled, in a good way, Steve can tell by the way that Bucky is still sneaking small short glances of him with that smile of his.

“I would really like that.” Bucky eventually says when he seems to have regained his controlled self, and smiles brightly to Steve.

“I don’t want tonight to end.” Steve admits, and looks ahead of them. It occurs to him that he’s been walking back to Peggy’s apartment without much thinking. And Bucky just followed without question. Just happy to be around Steve.

“Me neither.” Bucky looks down as he says this. And for a moment, they walk side by side in silence. The traffic has all but seized now in the evening and with the snow scaring the Londoners away from the streets.

Part of Steve wants to say that perhaps it’s good that they’re calling it a day. That it’s a good thing he’s going back to Peggy’s place. He still feels happy from the wine that he’s been drinking. And he doesn’t want to ruin it by doing something stupid. Such as following Bucky back to his hotel and get on his knees and…

No. He doesn’t want to rush it, now when he finally has Bucky beside him. When he’s finally holding his hand and daring himself to kiss his hand, he doesn’t want to ruin it. And going too fast might just do that. It’s odd, but he feels the two sides of him battle within him. One telling him that Bucky will be content and leave if they sleep with one another, and the other side telling him that it’s not the case, that Bucky wouldn’t do that to him. That he means something to him.

But he can’t say that out loud. Somehow he gets the feeling that he’d just make everything more awkward by doing so. That he’d make Bucky uncomfortable and that he’d pull away his hand. Christ, since when has meeting someone become this hard? Steve never had problems with that before. But with Bucky, Steve really doesn’t want to screw up.

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” Bucky asks him instead, changing the topic in one skillful maneuver and smiles at Steve. Almost instantly it changes the entire chemistry and mood in between them. Going from something tense, awkward and unsaid, to light and happy again.

“Oof.” Steve lets out a sigh, bumping their arms together to show his appreciation for what Bucky just has done. And it gives him something good to think about. “I would like... I would like to visit Camden again, wander around there, walk through the market and all. Maybe go to the Museum of London or something. Oh and we should do the London Dungeon. For some reason that seems like something you’d enjoy.”

Bucky laughs at the latter comment. “You know me so well.” He places his head on Steve’s shoulder for a split second. And then he looks ahead of himself again with a thoughtful expression. “If you had to pick just one of those things, which would you pick?”

“Why? You got a massive list to work through?” Steve teases in response. Bucky gives him an innocent look. Then Steve starts to think of what he’d want to do most of all. It’s a tough choice, he’d like to do all three. He would love to feel the atmosphere of Camden again, and to wander through the market is a unique thing of its own. But he’s never seen the museum before. And the London Dungeon, he really can imagine Bucky getting a kick out of it, and he wants to see him happy.

“I don’t know, it’s a tough choice.” He sucks on his lower lip, squints a little bit before he decides. “Museum of London.” Steve goes for the option that he hasn’t done yet. Bucky nods a couple of times.

“Museum of London.” He agrees. “It’s settled then. We do that, first thing in the morning.” Bucky’s smiling brightly again, but his expression changes again when Steve pulls them both to a halt. They’re right in front of Peggy’s apartment building.

“This is me.” Steve says a bit sheepish and nods to the building. He’s still holding Bucky’s hand.

“Oh.” Bucky looks up to the building, a little bit startled with surprise. He watches the building for a moment, and then looks back at Steve. He opens his mouth as if he wants to say something. But no words come out so he lets out a chuckle and look to their feet. Steve relates so hard to that, that he laughs and does the same.

“I know I’ve already said this but.” Bucky looks up again, bright blue eyes, shining smile. He truly does look both mesmerizing and utterly content. “I had a real great time today. Tons of fun. I really enjoyed myself.”

“Me too.” Steve smiles back at him, he squeezes Bucky’s hand. “You going to be okay on your way back?”

“Yeah I’ll be fine.” Bucky shrugs. “We passed that shopping street that reaches to the arch right? I’ll just go down that way, then back up by the arch. If not, us with a European phone and number get to benefit from roaming at the same cost as in the country we’re coming from. So I can turn on the gps.”

“Okay. That’s good.” Steve feels better knowing this, less guilty about just leaving Bucky on the side of the street outside Peggy’s apartment.

“So… tomorrow, same time at the arch again?” Bucky tries again. Steve nods.

“Museum of London, first thing.”

“Great.” He grins widely. Then Bucky pulls his hand out of Steve’s hand, turns himself to properly face Steve. “So uhm, good night?”

“Good night.” Steve parrots, and is struck with the sudden fear that he doesn't know what to do. Do they just, wave and go their separate ways? Can he hug Bucky? Do they kiss? Should they shake hands. He can’t exactly shout up the building and ask Peggy for advice, even if she would give it without a doubt.

“Uhm.” Bucky seems to be facing the same sort of issue. But he’s the one who spreads his arms a bit, and that starts a hug for the pair of them.

It’s not a hug amongst friends, it’s not over as quick as it starts with a pat on the back. This is a hug that stays. Steve puts his arms around Bucky’s neck and hugs him tight, smelling the teak and cigarette smoke on him while Bucky’s arms move around his back and holds him firmly in place.

“Thank you.” Steve whispers to Bucky, and feels how he strokes up and down Steve’s back.

Bucky pulls his head back a little bit, shifting his arms around Steve while still holding him in an embrace. But now when Steve stops burying his nose in Bucky’s neck and actually gets to look at him. He feels a light touch on his cheek. It’s Bucky’s thumb.

And it’s Bucky who’s the first one to dares to make a move. All of a sudden his lips are against Steve’s. All the tension, all the worry and all the awkwardness that they went through in just a short minute, disappears the moment that Bucky kisses him. Steve sighs into the kiss, eyes shutting of an age old instinct and he feels everything come to place.

It’s a sweet kiss, light, with Bucky’s warm hand on his cheek. It’s like they’ve been doing this for years already. Steve forgets about London, forgets about the noise of the night. All he can think of is nothing, nothing and Bucky. Bucky, Bucky, Bucky and how he’s the most natural thing in the world.

Their kiss ends, and Bucky brushes his nose lightly besides Steve’s own, then places another small peck on Steve’s lips before pulling away. He looks happy, sated, and his bright blue eyes aren’t so bright anymore with his pupils blown wide. Steve feels a flush on his cheek and neck, and images that he must look quite the same to Bucky.

“Good night.” Bucky says on such a low tone that it’s almost a whisper. He’s smiling, steps away and winks at Steve, before he starts back down the street the direction they came from. Steve turns to look after him, and lets out a soft chuckle.

“Good night!” Steve calls out after him. Bucky doesn’t look back. Instead he throws up his hand and makes a peace sign. Steve laughs, somehow it’s the perfect ending for their evening.

 

*

 

The moment Steve walks through the door in Peggy’s apartment, she knows. She takes one look at him, and she knows. Steve can tell from the pleased expression on her face as she sits in the couch with a small tub of ice cream. All that Steve really can do in response to that is grin as the kiss still has him feel warm and giddy on the inside.

 

*

 

By the time he’s laying in bed, forty minutes later after telling Peggy all about his day, he’s scrolling through his phone. He’s responding to a couple of messages from his friends back home when Bucky’s whatsapp plings through. Steve opens it.

It’s a picture off the bed in Bucky’s hotel room. He’s made it up so that Hector-Philippe is sitting propped up against a pillow, the cover from its waist down and the television remote by one side. The text reads _Had a lot of fun today, can’t wait to see you tomorrow, have a good night and dream sweet darling._

There’s another kissing emoji sent after in a seperate text.

Steve is grinning so wide as he watches the picture  and the emoji that his cheeks hurt. It takes him a while to come up with a proper response, and when all words fail he sends a bunch of emojis in return, the kissing one, the one with heart eyes, the two hearts spinning and a pair of red lips.

Bucky responds with a blushing one.

 

*

 

Bucky doesn’t shy away the next morning when they meet again by the arch. He instantly takes Steve’s hand in his own and pulls him in for a kiss. Steve hums into the kiss, delighted and smiles. Moving his other free arm around the small of Bucky’s back and pulls him in.

It feels right.

“Right.” Bucky says with a smirk when he finally pulls away from the kiss, but stays in Steve’s embrace, placing a hand on Steve’s chest. “Museum of London. Where is it and how do we get there?”

“Mm.” Steve hums, leans in for another kiss before he actually offers his response. “Underground here. Jump on the red line, get off a couple of stops later. Go up.” Bucky nods a couple of times.

“Alright. Oh.” Bucky steps back and out of Steve’s embrace. He let’s go off Steve’s hand and reaches inside his jacket. “There’s a reason why I asked you what you’d like to do most of all actually. We’ve only got a couple of hours today. If you want to of course.” Bucky looks jittery all of a sudden and pulls out a crumpled envelope and hands it to Steve. “I got you something.” As soon as Steve takes the envelope in his hand his thumb races up to his lips.

  
“What do you mean we only got a couple of hours?” Steve asks confused, but begins to open the envelope. Suddenly worried that Bucky has to go earlier. Steve knows that Bucky has his return flight on Monday, three hours before Steve has his own. Does he already have to leave this Saturday?

“Just open the envelope.” Bucky tells him, and there is a strain in Bucky’s voice. It’s not harsh, but it occurs to Steve that Bucky sounds worried. So Steve doesn’t say anything and tears open the envelope fully, wanting to put both himself and Bucky out of the stress. In the envelope are two tickets.

On them, Steve reads _Hamilton, 14,30PM, seats-_ Steve stops reading and looks up to Bucky with big eyes. “Are you for real?” He blurts out with little thought over how it sounds when he does so. Bucky nods and suddenly looks sheepish.

“Yeah, I mean, if you want to of course, we don’t have to. But if you do, we should probably be there by two and all. And have eaten something before that. I hear it’s quite long. I got us a reservation at a nice place after, at about six? I thought the day before yesterday, that if all went well yesterday, and it did! Or I at least think it did, that I’d give them to you and ask you out, like a sort of date.” Bucky sounds absolutely terrified, the worry etched firmly into every single word that spills past his lips and he speaks rapidly, making gestures with both of his hands as if trying to explain, trying to set Steve at ease when there’s absolutely no reason to do so.

“Bucky.” Steve says softer. He smiles a bit at him, and it seems to settle Bucky at ease even if he’s still nervous, still biting on his lower lip. But Steve, he feels absolutely floored. “If I had known I would have worn something nicer today, I’d love to go, I’d love to go with you and for dinner and yes. I’d like for us to go on this date.” He’s smiling wider and wider as he talks.

“Really?” Bucky breathes out a sigh in relief, and there is that wonderful small smile of his. His shoulders lower a bit as the tension leaves him. “I mean, yeah! You... you really?”

“Yes.” Steve confirms to him, pulls him back in and gives him a kiss on his cheek before hugging him tightly. Bucky’s arms are still trembling when they embrace Steve in return. “Yes, I’d really love to go with you.”

 

*

 

Steve will never forget Hamilton until the day that he dies, he declares this the moment he and Bucky leave Victoria Palace Theatre a little bit past five. Beside him is Bucky laughing cheerfully, still holding Steve’s and as he’s done during the duration of the show, and from their trip to the London Museum. The only time he wasn’t holding Steve’s hand was when they stopped for a short moment to have a bite to eat before the show.

It’s the first date Steve has been on in years, and somehow without knowing how Steve likes his dates, Bucky has managed to make it absolutely perfect.

They are terribly underdressed for the restaurant that Bucky picked for the pair of them, and the waiter stares more at Bucky than at Steve with his punk attire. But Bucky shrugs this off easily as if it’s something he does every day, or just downright ignores the man. The food is downright amazing.

They share a bottle of wine with one another, and it’s making them both giggly and happy. They already were before, but the alcohol just amplifies the feeling that they already have. It’s the wine that makes Steve feel bold though, he knows that, just as much as he knows that he wants it to the core of his body. That it isn’t the alcohol just whispering things to him.

“Would you still fuck me if I asked?” Steve leans in over the table and asks, still holding Bucky’s hand in his own. Bucky looks at him while he sips of his wine. The corners of his mouth twitch up a bit.

 

*

 

The teenage girl stares at them with wide eyes when she scans and bags their items. Condoms and a bottle of lube, she hardly seems to notice however. She keeps looking at them, and doesn’t help that Bucky is by Steve’s neck, kissing the skin softly and nipping at it. Making the Londoners all round uncomfortable with his public displays of affection.

And Steve, Steve can’t help but giggle and try to squirm away because it tickles and then he’d wind up kissing Bucky instead and then… then they’d never make it anywhere.

“Here’s your change.” The girl says on a weak voice and raises her hand with the few coins. Steve thanks her, takes them and shoves them in his pocket while Bucky snags the bag from the counter and stuffs it in the pocket of his jacket.

“Thanks.” Bucky winks to the girl, and then with a push, steers Steve to leave the store. It’s still amusing to him that neither of them had thought of bringing condoms. That neither of them had gotten their hopes up in the first place. And the wide eyed look that Bucky had gotten on the underground train on their way to Bucky’s hotel when he had realized had been absolutely adorable.

 

*

 

Bucky pushes Steve against the wall they moment they enter the hotel room, leaving Steve barely a chance to even look around in it. They had both settled on Bucky’s hotel would be best, it would be awkward for Steve to bring Bucky to Peggy’s apartment as he was a guest. And Bucky had his own hotel room.

He kicks the door shut with his combat boots, and is already worming his way out of his jacket. Steve’s holding Bucky in place by his neck, kissing him. Bucky lets out a breath, and Steve takes the chance in action and kisses him deeper after. Their tongues meet and for a moment that’s all that matters.

Bucky pushes back, and Steve’s head hits the wall behind him with a light thump. He’s tasting Bucky, his hands moving over that strong chest and helping Bucky out of the jacket. The help makes it easier, and the moment that Bucky gets the last sleeve past his wrist made bulky with bracelets, his hands are all over Steve.

Bucky is kissing his jaw again, his neck, while Steve feels those warm fingers of Bucky trail over him. Heating up his skin in anticipation. The feel of them tangled in his hair, down his neck and back up to his shoulder, down his arm. All while the other is over his pecs, brushing, down his stomach, down his abdomen and up his side again, touching, feeling and mapping.

Steve slides his hands under the hem of Bucky’s t-shirt, pushes it up. Bucky breaks their kiss for a soft giggle, squirming away from Steve’s touch. His lips barely move off Steve’s. “Ticklish.” He mutters in explanation and then in one graceful move, tugs the t-shirt over his head and discards it. The beanie ends up on the floor along with it and only a few strands fall in front of Bucky’s face, he’s been hiding a bun all day long.

“Sorry.” Steve apologizes, but he isn’t sorry in the slightest.

Steve twists them, pressing Bucky against the wall now, brushing his hands over Bucky’s chest, feeling the hardness of the metal by Bucky’s left nipple. His mouth goes dry. Steve looks down at him, sees how Bucky’s jeans are straining with his hard-on, sees the soft ripple of muscles for every short ragged breath that Bucky takes. Bucky _isn’t_ smaller than him, Steve realises now when Bucky is out of his jacket and in proper light.

He’s lined tight with muscle, broad, bulky and radiating strength that will give Steve a match. There’s fine, dark hairs over his chest, just as there is a happy trail leading down Bucky’s abdomen and disappearing in his clothes. And Bucky’s looking at him, that same, smug expression as he’s panting a bit, lips red and swollen from their shared kisses.

“God you’re-” Steve swallows, cutting himself off as he’s searching for the right word. His own cock is hard in his pants, aching almost and that makes it difficult to think. Bucky’s eyebrows raise just slightly, as if to say _yeah?_ “You’re beautiful.” Steve kisses him again, Bucky’s fingers fly into his hair, gripping the soft brown blonde strands and giving them a gentle tug. Steve moans into their kiss.

Steve kisses his lips, his jaw, his neck, his collarbone and the middle of his chest. He takes the pierced nipple in between his fingers and gives it an experimental twist. Bucky gasps, moving his hips towards Steve. And then, Steve goes down on his knees, and unbuckles both of Bucky’s belts.

“I’ve been looking forward to this.” Steve reveals to him, and is grateful for the help that Bucky gives when Steve tries to push the tight jeans down. And Steve, Steve’s only happy to tug down Bucky’s boxer briefs along with it, reaching them down to Bucky’s knees and… he places his hands on Bucky’s thighs, who are every bit as muscular as he’s imagined them to be.

“You’ve got no idea how long _I_ wanted to do this either.” Bucky tells him with a smirk, looking down to him. One hand still strongly on the back of Steve’s head, holding a grip of his hair, while the other strokes the cock that is right in front of Steve. It was impressive over the computer, but it’s even more now, when he sees it in front of him.

The thickness of it is still a little daunting, but not enough to scare him away. And that black piercing on the underside of Bucky’s head is just taunting him. Steve lets out a whine, and takes the cock in his own hands. Bucky removes his and is staring down to Steve with dark eyes.

“I want to know how that feels on the back of my throat.” Steve tells Bucky, pressing a kiss on the piercing. Never once taking his eyes off him. Bucky lets out a soft moan at that. Steve sucks at it, experimentally, wanting to judge Bucky’s reaction, wanting to know how far he can take it. But it seems that Bucky doesn’t mind it at all. He licks his tongue over the rest of the head, then back to the underside and down.

How long has it been since he last gave someone head? Seven to eight months? Steve’s worried that he won’t live up to expectations, and hopes that what he lacks on that front he can make up for in enthusiasm.

Bucky is looking down at him, chest rising and falling quickly as he’s breathing. It’s just about the most arousing sound that Steve’s ever heard in his life.

Steve works on him for a while, just kissing him, licking him, stroking him, spreading the pre-cum over the head with his thumb. He enjoys the hard feel of Bucky’s cock, enjoys the girth in his hand. And enjoys the thought, the hope of Bucky pinning him down to the bed later and fucking him.

He finally builds up enough courage to dare himself take Bucky in his mouth. And he begins with just the head. The sensation of the metal to his tongue is odd at first, but exhilarating all the same. Bucky’s eyes fall shut, he tilts his head back and moans. The grip of Steve’s hair grows stronger, keeping him in place. Steve sucks, then pulls back, then goes back again. Bit by bit he works more of Bucky’s cock in his mouth.

And there’s Bucky, moaning at nearly every touch, either tugging at Steve’s hair or petting him gently. Murmuring encouragement and praise, telling him how good he looks like that on the floor, with his cock in his mouth. Telling him how he’s doing a good job and- his breathing hitches occasionally during sentences. He’s massaging his pierced nipple himself, biting down on his lower lip every now and then and tries to contain a louder moan.

In the end, Steve does feel that strain in his jaw. Just like he imagined it the very first time he got see Bucky’s cock in his hands. It’s a soft burn, and he pulls back, pressing one more kiss to the piercing on the underside and stands up again. Somewhere along the way he’s opened his own jeans, tugged down the zipper just to get some relief. He kisses Bucky, pressing himself against the other and feels Bucky’s dick against his own during his underwear.

“You do that-” Bucky murmurs with a kiss, hands soft and gentle down Steve’s side, to his front and slides his hand in. Steve moans when he feels Bucky’s fingers close around his cock, giving him a soft little squeeze. “Real well.” Bucky’s pressing kisses against Steve’s neck again, then whispers in his ears. “Want to feel what it’s like to receive head from a pierced tongue?”

At that, Steve’s mind short-circuits.

“Yes.” Steve swallows, and Bucky pushes him away by his chest.

“Pull the bed out.” Bucky orders him, then proceeds to kick of his combat boots.

“What?” Steve looks at him stupidly. As soon as Bucky has discarded the boots, he begins to strip out of his jeans. Bucky laughs at him.

“Never mind, get the lube and condoms.” Bucky tells him instead, and this much Steve understands. He pats down Bucky’s jacket to find the plastic bag, and when he turns around to show them to Bucky, he sees how the other is pulling the bed a bit away from the wall. The tattoo that Steve has only seen hints of just by Bucky’s shoulder, is a wolf head. And what Steve’s been seeing, is the tips of it’s ears.

“Got them.” He tells Bucky as soon as he lets go of the bed.

“Great.” Bucky grins up to him, a flash of white teeth and snags the back out of Steve’s hand. Steve takes the hint and gets up on the bed. Sure enough, Bucky grabs Steve’s pants and tugs them down, hard enough to make Steve slide down with it. They both laugh at it for a second before Steve’s helping Bucky along.

In the end, Steve’s naked on the bed and shivering with expectation. Bucky’s between his legs, touching Steve with those strong hands of his. He’s looking up to Steve, pushing that little metal ball past his lips for Steve to see.

The touch to Steve’s cock feels amazing, with Bucky slowly figuring him out. Squeezing him, stroking him, and truth to be told, Bucky doesn’t have to do much work to get Steve hard, he already was before he got up on the bed. Then, Bucky presses just like Steve had done, a light kiss to the underside, trailing all the way down to his balls, which he rolls in his palm.

“God, Bucky.” Steve breathes out at that, feeling a little bit lost at what to do with his hands. He touches himself, feels the stroke of his own fingers on his throat and imagines that they’re Bucky’s. Feels the touch on his chest, just as much as he feels the weight of Bucky’s arm over his thigh.

Then, Bucky mimics Steve again, though he wastes less time. He takes the head in his mouth, and presses his tongue to the underside and - _oh._

Steve lets out a whine, a shiver of pleasure races through his body. From every single nerve cell that he has to his gut, where all the pleasure is pooling. It’s an odd sensation, but absolutely amazing and Bucky knows exactly how to work his tongue. It slides down with every move. Not just straight down but carefully, calculated as if he’s already done this a hundred times to Steve.

With that, it doesn’t take long before Bucky has Steve absolutely writhing on the bed. Whimpering and moaning and feeling like every time that Bucky’s blowjob can’t get any better, it does. He’s feeling his muscles tense up, feeling the quick, shallow breaths that he takes as a sign.

“Buck, Buck I’m gonna - _god!_ ” He moans again, cutting himself up as Bucky does yet another trick with his tongue. “Buck I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum.” Steve repeats quickly, patting Bucky on his shoulder as a sign, wanting to give him the chance to pull away. All Bucky does however is pull back up so only the tip is in his mouth. He presses his tongue to the underside again and sucks.

Steve comes apart barely a second later. He lets out a deep moan and tenses up every muscle in his body, only for them to begin to tremble moments later when he’s cumming in Bucky’s warm, wet mouth. He feels the solid pressure of Bucky’s hand on his stomach, holding him down.

Bucky doesn’t pull away until all of Steve’s muscles relax, and he lets out a throaty laugh as he watches Steve, eyes shut and enjoying the bliss that Bucky just made him feel. “How do you like that?” Bucky murmurs.

Steve lets out a chuckle of a laugh. “Really?” He asks Bucky without opening his eyes. Bucky moves up on the bed, Steve can feel how it shifts underneath him with an additional weight, and not long after that Steve feels a soft, almost gentle kiss to his cheek. Steve turns his head, finds Bucky’s nose with his own and his lips after. He gets to taste himself on Bucky’s lips. “Fuck me?” Steve then asks on a voice that might as well be a whisper.

“With pleasure.” Bucky reveals with a grin to Steve, and kisses Steve again with more drive. “Up.” He tells Steve and pats him on his flank, which makes Steve move up further.

“I’ve been wanting you to fuck me since the day I first saw you.” Steve reveals, and Bucky looks positively thrilled at that, then reaches for the plastic bag that they good from the pharmacist. He tears open the package of condoms, and rips off two, tossing one to Steve, and one for himself.

“Put that on, roll over.” Bucky tells him and opens the wrapper. Steve does as he’s told, the idea of Bucky finally fucking him seems to have shortened his usual recovery period down to a minute. He’s already hard again when he’s rolling the condom on.

“Why though?” Steve asks Bucky before rolling over. “I don’t top at all.”

“Because.” Suddenly Bucky is pressing a kiss to Steve’s shoulder blade, he can feel Bucky’s cock against his ass and he shudders. “If you cum again, there won’t be any mess on the sheets. Cause you’re staying the night, right?” Bucky sounds hopeful, gently brushing at Steve’s hair.

“Of course.” Steve answers without hesitation, and then the warm feeling of Bucky hovering over him is gone.

“Going to get you nice and ready now first, okay?” Bucky tells him, and next Steve can feel the cold drip of lube just in between his two cheeks.

“Oh.” He breathes old, balling the sheets in his hands. “It’s cold.” He tells no one in particular. He feels Bucky’s warm hand massaging his ass, the other moving up his back.

“I know, sweetheart, I know. Won’t be for long. I promise.” Bucky hushes him. Steve feels how Bucky’s fingers drag down from his spine, in between his cheeks and presses them slightly against Steve’s hole. “You tell me if and when it’s too much, alright?” Steve doesn’t respond, he just nods. And then when one of Bucky’s fingers slide into him with ease thanks to the lube, Steve moans again.

Bucky doesn’t need much work to get Steve begging for a second finger, beginning to stretch him out. It turns out that Bucky has an absolutely wonderful way that he twists his fingers, leaving Steve gasping for more every single time.

“Do you think you need a third?” Bucky asks after a little while, voice sounding thick.

“Yes.” Steve gives him as answer. Normally two would do good, and he’s relaxed enough for it. But he wants to play it safe with Bucky, the tension in his jaw has disappeared by now but it served as a good way of reminding him. Bucky doesn’t object, and Steve whimpers when he feels the third finger, moving his hips towards Bucky’s touch.

It doesn’t even take three minutes before Steve can’t wait anymore. “That’s good, I’m ready.”

Bucky removes his fingers from Steve, and he whines a little at the sudden emptiness that follow. He hears Bucky hiss himself a moment later. “Fuck, you’re right it is cold.” Bucky lets out a breathy laugh. Steve feels the weight of Bucky straddling him over his thighs, and Steve whines when he feels the others cock against his ass again.

“C’mon Buck.” Steve begs, but the words go right into the bed. He feels the push against his hole again, and then… with one easy push Bucky is inside of him. They groan in unison as Bucky pushes all the way inside of Steve

“God Stevie.” Bucky breathes. “You feel so good around me, so warm. It’s just right, Stevie, god.” Bucky leans over him again, places a hand in Steve’s neck and pushes him down against the bed. Somehow that act alone is highly erotic to him. Steve doesn’t even have to urge Bucky to begin to move, he does that all on his own. First slowly, testing his grounds. Second time is faster, third is harder.

Bucky fucks with all the pent up energy that he’s been building up for the past few months. It has Steve moaning, gasping, writhing, and begging for more. Begging for it, because all _he’s_ ever wanted these past months is this, hard and unrelenting, pleasure flashing through his body with each thrust, warming them both up and hearing the slap of skin as Bucky works on him like that. Feeling how that little bit of metal would every now and then brush by that sweet spot for a burst of electricity. Moaning and groaning in unison, cursing and…

“Fuck, Steve, fuck!” It’s sudden, a bit of a surprise, when Bucky cums followed by a loud moan. Steve feels and whimpers as Bucky pushes into him as far as he can and he knows that he will be bruised the next day, but he doesn’t really care. Steve moves his hips against him to the best of his abilities, and in that moment is almost devastated that Bucky’s wearing a condom.

What he would have done in order to feel Bucky cum inside of him, how he would have loved the sensation of his cum dripping out of him.

He feels Bucky’s forehead against his shoulder then, followed by the rest of the comforting weight of the others body against his back. Bucky’s panting and Steve wants nothing else but be able to turn around and hold him. “How did you like that?” He teases instead, and hears the soft chuckle.

“Gimme a second.” Bucky says. Stroking his hand over Steve’s arm, finding his hand and taking it in his own. Steve gives him that second, and that minute to recover. Even if nearly all he can think off is his hard-on pressed in between himself and the bed.

Eventually, Bucky moves away and pulls out. He gets off Steve’s thighs and pats Steve’s hip. “Roll over.” Once more, Steve does as he’s told and rolls over onto his back. Bucky comes back over him, settling himself between Steve’s legs and kissing him. Steve moves his arms around Bucky’s neck, and for a moment it’s just perfect that all that Bucky does is kiss him. It’s beyond intimate.

Then, after a few strokes of himself, Bucky is hard again. “Lift your hips.” He directs, and with Steve’s help he once more slides easily inside of him. Bucky moves slowly, carefully. He presses his body tightly against Steves. Presses kisses to his lips, to his neck and to his shoulders when he can. Steve pulls Bucky’s hair free from the bun, and drags his fingers through the wonderful locks of brown hair as Bucky thrusts into him. Slowly, intimately, and so very different from previously.

The thought of it alone, the sensation, of being able to kiss Bucky and look into his eyes, to feel the friction on his cock of both their bodies rubbing against one another is what does it for him.

While his previous orgasm was sudden, big and bright in its pleasure. Steve’s second one is slow and throbbing, gently warming him and taking all of him in it’s embrace. And it feels like it would go on, on and on and Bucky’s whispering sweet encouragements while their foreheads are against one another and feels the gentle stroke of his thumb just by the corner of his ear.

When Steve comes down from that, he almost wants to cry. It seems like Bucky knows this somehow, because carefully he moves out of Steve and lays down on his side. Steve rolls into his chest, and lets those warm, strong arms embrace him.

 

*

 

Bucky comes out of the shower ten minutes after Steve. They shared one, as soon as they both started to feel cold on top of the sheets. It was warm, and sweet. Steve had the pleasure to wash Bucky’s hair for him, and enjoyed to sneak in a kiss every now and then when he could. Bucky did the same.

Steve’s wearing his boxer briefs, and already was under the cover the moment that Bucky joined him. Wearing his sweatpants and sweatpants alone. “Hi.” Bucky muses, smiling content as he places an arm across Steve’s stomach, he rests his chin on Steve’s shoulder and looks down to the phone in Steve’s hand. “What are you doing?” He asks softly, before pressing those lips against his skin.

“Just telling Peggy I won’t come home tonight, she doesn’t have to worry.” Steve doesn’t bother locking his phone. He’s done exactly what he said he was, and feels no reason to hide that from Bucky. So he just drops his phone on the cover, and strokes the skin on Bucky’s arm. He’s taken off the bracelets for the shower, and the sight is still a little bit odd to Steve.

“That might be a good idea. I don’t want her to report you missing or anything.” Bucky smirks up to Steve, presses a kiss on his cheek and then settles down against Steve again. “Want to watch a movie together or something?”

“Yeah.” Steve strokes Bucky’s still wet hair, now put back into a tight knot on the back of his head. “I’d really like that.” Steve tells him, all while still petting the back of his head. He really would like that, he thinks. Already looking forward to the softness of just being able to cuddle up next to one another.

The movie that they find on television isn’t all that great, but it does the job well. Steve isn’t really watching it anyway. He’s far too focused at how Bucky looks like beside him. The way his hair slowly turns from black to brown as it dries, the way the stud in his tongue gets pushed past his lips. The thick glasses that are put on his nose for watching the movie. The amount of piercings that he’s got in his right ear (seven) and the amused little expression he makes at a silly, stupid joke.

And occasionally, Bucky would look away from the movie himself and watch Steve, making him wonder how Bucky sees him. And at times, they share kisses. Soft and sweet and gentle. As if they’ve got all the time in the world.

 

*

 

When they sleep, Bucky takes on the role of big spoon and seems to do this instinctively. Steve can’t even bring himself to care when he finds out that Bucky snores a little. In many ways it feels like the best sleep he’s had in a long time.

 

*

 

They have sex again in the morning. More relaxed with one another, exploring one another in a different way and not rushing a single movement or touch. There’s more laughter this time, but it feels just as good as the day before. When they’re both finished, they decide to just spend the day in bed together rather than go about and walk through London.

It’s their last day together, and Steve wants to enjoy it with Bucky and Bucky alone for as long as he can. It gives him a sinking feeling in his stomach to know that in less than twenty-four hours, Bucky will already be back on his plane to Russia and he will be waiting in the airport for his flight to New York.

Steve doesn’t share this thought with Bucky however, he doesn’t want to bring that melancholy thought out in the open and drape it over the pair of them. Not when they’re having such a good time just laying next to one another, sharing stories, tumbling around in the sheets and playing games (Steve finds out that Bucky is very, very ticklish) and finding out in even greater detail what the other likes in bed.

At around two in the afternoon Steve gets a text from Peggy, inviting both him, Bucky and Natasha over to her apartment for dinner, seeing it is their last night together. After a short moment of debating, they accept. And Bucky calls Natasha to ask if that’s alright with her. Natasha is positively thrilled, Bucky assures Steve, and tells him that Natasha spent the previous day at the Harry Potter Studios and that she didn’t miss anyone's company at all.

It gives them another three hours in bed before they have to start getting ready, and they spend it well. Once it slowly starts to grow dark, Steve takes a moment to ask Bucky about his tattoos. Bucky gladly tells him the tale of the wolf on his back, the tree on his calf, half of it flourishing and half of it dead. He tells him the tale of the star that he’s got on his side. But the one that spikes Steve’s curiosity the most is the one Bucky has on the inside of his wrist.

“What about this one?” Steve asks, gently brushing his thumb over the light lines in black and gray. The old art of the original Winnie the Pooh, looking thoughtful with one of his hands under his chin. Compared to the rest of Bucky’s tattoos, all harsh lines and almost brutal seeming, the tattoo of Pooh-Bear seems out of place. Bucky gets the sweetest smile possible on his face when he asks.

“It’s my favorite one.” He admits, stroking his fingers lightly over the tattoo as well. “My mom, back home in Brooklyn, her name is Winnie.” He smiles that very same dopey smile up to Steve. “She’s my pooh-bear. I love my mom.” And for that, Steve can’t help but fall in love a little bit more. Bucky turns to look at the tattoo again, and his brows furrow. The joy now gone from his face. “I don’t nearly see her as often as I should though…” He confesses on a quiet tone.

Steve holds him a bit tighter.

 

*

 

At five thirty, Natasha is waiting for them down in the lobby. She’s got her coat wrapped over her arm and is sporting a navy blue hoodie with an eagle on it.

“Can you tell her that I didn’t think she was a Ravenclaw? But that I expected her to be a Slytherin?” Steve asks Bucky, holding his hand. Bucky lets out a snort, softly calls Steve a nerd before translating. Natasha’s voice still has the very same tone as it did Friday morning when she responds.

“She says that while Slytherin seems obvious to her, most bad guys are in that category and they’re not discreet about it. She likes to think of herself as not so obvious, so she’s a Ravenclaw.” Bucky informs Steve before dragging him outside. Natasha mutters more in Russian, but this Bucky neither translates or responds to, instead he just smirks to her and kisses Steve on his cheek.

“She said something dirty again didn’t she?” Steve asks, narrowing his eyes to Natasha again who looks once more, far to pleased with herself.

“Yes she did, and I might love her, but I’m not giving her the privilege of knowing who sucked who’s dick first.” Steve barks out a laugh at that, and begins to lead the pair to Peggy’s apartment. For their thirty minute walk, it’s mostly Steve and Natasha talking with one another and Bucky translating in the middle. He doesn’t seem to mind, in fact he seems to be rather happy at the idea of Steve and Natasha putting in effort to get along with one another.

Steve is equally pleased when Bucky and Natasha do the same with Peggy, joking and telling tales and swapping stories with one another. Peggy is an excellent conversationalist, and finds something to talk about with all of them. It’s revealed that Peggy helped Natasha get the tickets for the studio tour and that she nearly debated on going herself before getting an emergency call from her work.

Peggy made them all chicken roast with mashed potatoes, and they end the evening with a round of a card game that Peggy has, which main focus lies on being able to bluff. Natasha wipes them all under the table, and the one who comes second is Bucky, who is able to call Natasha’s bluff more than the others.

Peggy offers to drive them all to the airport the following morning together, after assuring that Steve doesn’t mind being there a couple of hours in advance. He’s quick to tell her that no he doesn’t mind, he wants to be around Bucky up until the moment that his flight departs.

“You go pack your stuff, Steve.” Peggy tells him when the evening is drawing near and they’re declaring that maybe it would be best to get a bit of sleep if they have to leave at six in the morning to make it in time. “Just take some fresh clothes out. Leave it here, spend the last night with him. I’ll bring along your roller when I come pick you up.” She promises him. And Steve goes and does just that.

 

*

 

“You be good now, and you send me a message when you’ve landed and Sam’s picked you up alright?” Peggy is hugging Steve tightly in the departures hall, and Steve finds it amusing that he now also has a mom friend to go with the dad friend, Sam. For a split second he wonders how well the two would get on with one another.

“I promise I will.” He assures Peggy, let’s go of her. Peggy sniffs, dabs at her eyes, and laughs.

“Oh I always cry saying goodbye. Come here.” She spreads her arms towards Bucky, who looks a little bit stunned but goes in for a hug from the smaller woman anyway. Natasha does so much more easily. “I hope you all had a good time here. Come back anytime you like, you’re always welcome. Be safe and have a good flight and all that.”

“We will, Peggy.” Steve squeezes her hand, gives her one last hug and kisses her on her cheek. “Thank you for everything.” He whispers to her. He takes her answer by hugging him tighter as _anytime._

Together, Steve, Bucky and Natasha make it through security. For a little while they wander through the tax free, and both Natasha and Bucky buy the maximum allowed of booze, and for Bucky’s case, also cigarettes. Steve, only gets himself a large bag of M&M’s for the flight and watches amused how Natasha and Bucky try to squeeze in the bottles in their roll on suitcases, and Natasha scolds Bucky for buying cigarettes under her names as well, which she declares (Steve guesses, judging by how she’s angrily tapping the cigarettes) takes the most space.

It’s amusing to watch, and he resists to open his bag of M&M’s and pretend like it’s popcorn as he watches them. Eventually, flushed, they figure it out.

Bucky buys a book in one of the shops, and together they settle for a bunch of sandwiches and bottles of coke to drink, not really caring that it’s only eight in the morning. They spend most of their time waiting by the gate for Bucky and Natasha’s flight. Steve feels himself tense up every time there’s an announcement, and relaxes every time that he realises it’s not their flight.

Eventually, hostesses come to the desk and begin to work. Next, a plane lands, and people disembark. After that, the eventual announcement that the flight to Moscow, is now boarding.

Instantly there’s a flush of people, all of them in a rush to get on the plane first despite that everybody has numbered seats. Neither Natasha nor Bucky move to join the line, and Bucky even seems to be ignoring it’s happening at all. It’s when the boarding has started, and the line has shortened by half, that Natasha makes a move to get up. Bucky seems to realise that his time is up.

So when they’re all standing up, Natasha gives him a one armed hug and mutters something in Russian to him. When she pulls away Bucky translates. “She says she’s glad she met you, and that she hopes you have a good flight home and that you’ll come visit us in Moscow sometime.”

“Of course I will.” Steve beams down to the red haired woman, who backs up a step, squeezes Bucky by his arm and then goes and joins the queue, as if allowing the two men a good bye in private amongst the crowd. Bucky suddenly looks heart broken. Not entirely unlike how Steve feels.

“So.” Bucky says and looks down. They stand like that in silence for a moment. As soon as Steve takes a step closer to hug him, Bucky does the same and they’re clinging onto one another. They could crush one anothers ribs, or so it feels. Or maybe it’s just a sign of inevitable tears.

“I had a real good time meeting you.” Bucky whispers, burying his nose in Bucky’s neck, determined to get the smell of cigarettes and teak ingrained in his brain.

“Me too.” Steve tells him, taking a grip of Bucky’s hair and ignores the people around them. Ignores the elderly couple staring at them. He doesn’t notice them whispering to one another, and Natasha knocking over their suitcase before offering an apology.

Bucky pulls back a bit, his eyes are watery, but there’s a smile as he’s trying to be strong. “Come on, wipe your tears.” He says with a chuckle, stroking his thumb over Steve’s cheeks and feels how he spreads something wet over them. “We will see each other again. Like this, and when we get home. I’ll be waiting by my computer for you to call me when you get there okay? It’s going to be okay, it’s just a flight, it’s not a goodbye, it’s more off a.. a see you later, alright?”

“Yeah.” Steve forces up a smile, takes one of Bucky’s hands on his cheeks in his own and nods again. “Yeah, it’s just a see you later, I’ll see you again soon, and I will call when I get home.”

“Repeat after me.” Bucky says, Steve nods to show that he’s listening. “It’s just a flight, and I will see you later.”

“It’s just a flight, and I will see you later.”

“Good.” Bucky presses a kiss against his lips.

“Buck, you better go, they’ll be waiting for you.” Steve tells him much against his will. Bucky nods a couple of times. Takes in a shaky breath and gives Steve one last, wonderful kiss before he lets go of him. And that feels like a tear.

Steve watches as Bucky last of all, hands his passport and ticket to the hostesses, who welcome him on board. Bucky casts one last look over his shoulder and waves, then he disappears down the tunnel and Steve sits down.

 

*

 

Steve waits on the seat by the window and watches the plane. The moment he sees it move away from the tunnel and turn out onto the tarmac of the airport field, he wants to cry. But he doesn’t.

 

*

 

“Hey my man!” Sam is waiting for him by arrivals and is grinning widely, stretching out both of his arms to welcome Steve in a hug. “How was it, how was your trip?” Sam asks inevitably.

Somehow, that’s enough for Steve. That’s all it takes, the memory off an absolutely perfect weekend. Wandering around in the science museum, the gallery, the aquarium. Seeing Hamilton, spending a day in bed. Everything had been so blissfully perfect and now, now they were separated again by five thousand miles.

The memory of all that, and the realisation by that cruel fact is what makes him cry. Sam, instantly concerned, pulls Steve in to hug him. Steve does just that, and hides away in Sam’s neck to not show his sorrow to the world. Sam doesn’t smell like cigarettes and teak, he smells like citrus and honey, and he’s not Bucky.

“I didn’t want him to go, Sam. I didn’t want him to go.” Steve mutters against Sam’s chest through his tears. And he hears Sam let out a soft, _oh._

 

*

 

Being a good, concerned dad friend, Sam stopped on the way to Steve’s apartment by a McDonalds. Let Steve order his fill on junk food and just listened to Steve as he retold the entire weekend, and cried a little bit more. So by the time he puts his key in the lock to his apartment, he’s got a headache, and wants to hide away from the world.

His apartment feels cold and dark. Steve leaves his suitcase in the hallway before setting towards his fridge. All the salty food from McDonalds now has him craving something sweet. His fridge however, is disappointingly empty of food and he groans. Of course, he emptied it out before going away. Now he’d have to face doing groceries at some point during the day.

He takes out a packet of chocolate pudding and grabs a spoon. Strips out of his jacket on the way to the bedroom and lets it fall to the floor. He’s already shoved two spoonfuls of the chocolatey, sugary delight in his mouth by the time he sits down on the bed in front of his computer.

It powers up, and in the meantime he finishes his pudding, by the time he’s logging in he’s sucking remnants of flavors from the spoon until all he can taste is metal. He signs into the chat program, where Bucky is listed as his only contact.

And he’s online.

He’s online!

Steve quickly clicks the chat, and presses the button that starts a chat. He expects Bucky to take a while before he picks up, but he’s already there after the first electronic ring. “Hey!” Bucky’s voice is strong, delighted, and the camera pops on moments after.

“Oh my god, I look terrible” is the first thing that Steve blurts out when he sees himself in the corner of his screen. His eyes are red, his cheeks and nose is pink and it looks as if he hasn’t showered in days. He knows for a fact that he showered that morning. He knows, because Bucky helped him. And right now, Bucky is laughing at him.

“It’s okay, I do too.” Bucky sniffs and moves closer into the camera, resting his chin in his hand. He doesn’t, Steve thinks, but he can tell that Bucky’s eyes also were red. “I started crying the moment I sat down next to Natasha.” He says quietly. “Burst out into tears like, four more times during that four hour flight. Twice more since coming home. You?”

“The moment Sam asked me how the trip was. And then for a pretty solid half hour in McDonalds.” Steve admits, feeling a little bit better now in knowing that he wasn’t alone with the turmoil of emotions. Bucky’s grinning, he too seems to be feeling better.

“Hey Bucky?” Steve asks softly, hearing the steady hum of the other, and remembers how he had both heard and felt that hum that very morning by resting on Bucky’s chest. Suddenly, Steve’s heart is hammering away in his chest. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Bucky doesn’t say anything at first, he just looks at Steve. But somehow the silence in between them is calm and relaxed. Steve doesn’t worry. The corners of Bucky’s mouth move up. And he says,

“Yeah.”

 


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, you don’t have to do that anymore,” Steve begins, tossing the wipe in the trash and picking another one out of the packet. He’ll need to go and get more of those tomorrow, and proper grocery shopping, he’s postponed that ever since coming back the previous Monday. Bucky looks at him, a little bit confused. “Pay me. Seeing we’re together now and all.”
> 
> “Oh!” Bucky exclaims, takes the tin of soda that he’s got on the desk and takes a sip. “Of course I still have to pay you, Steve. This is your job. This is a service of yours I’m still using. It wouldn’t be right if I freeload on you.”
> 
> Steve, for the life of him, can’t find a proper argument to counter that, and it annoys him a little bit. But he feels flattered by Bucky’s reasoning, and he nods a little bit in defeat. “Alright,” Steve says. After all, it’s not like he can tell Bucky what spend his money on. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to. That’s all.”
> 
> “I know.” Bucky drinks from his soda again. It’s a weird Russian tin that Steve’s never seen before in his entire life. “But besides, if I don’t pay you, how will you ever get money enough to come and visit me in Russia?” He says with a wink.

Initially, Steve hadn’t wanted to start streaming again after coming back from London. He missed Bucky a bit too much, despite that they saw one another every day. Steve felt blue from leaving him, and had trouble sleeping now when he was alone in his bed again. Which only frustrated him more because he had _only_ slept beside Bucky for two nights.

Still, bills needed to be paid. The sooner he got over the hurdle and started streaming again, the sooner that he would find enjoyment in it. And the sooner that he would realise he was just sulking.

So it had been with Bucky’s encouragement that he signed in on Chaturbate and tended to his viewers. Bucky, as RedStar, included. And… it didn’t go as bad as he had thought it would be. Just like he had suspected of himself; Steve found his groove five minutes into streaming. He was just exaggerating, just sulking for absolutely nothing.

It was a surprise to him however, when the sound of tokens being dropped came in the chat.

**RedStar has dropped 1500 tokens.**

They hadn’t talked about how they would handle Bucky watching him on a stream, and part of Steve doesn’t want Bucky to feel like he _has_ to drop tokens for him, not if they’re together. And definitely not when they get their rocks off together in private chats. Or at least, Steve hopes they’ll still do that.

But in front of five hundred other people isn’t the time to bring that up for discussion.

So he finishes his stream, and makes nearly 13,000 tokens by the end of it. $642, Steve finds out when he’s checking the grand total. Not that bad for an evening of work. He’s opened the private stream for Bucky again after, and is cleaning himself off with wet wipes when he speaks up.

“You know, you don’t have to do that anymore,” Steve begins, tossing the wipe in the trash and picking another one out of the packet. He’ll need to go and get more of those tomorrow, and proper grocery shopping, he’s postponed that ever since coming back the previous Monday. Bucky looks at him, a little bit confused. “Pay me. Seeing we’re together now and all.”

“Oh!” Bucky exclaims, takes the tin of soda that he’s got on the desk and takes a sip. “Of course I still have to pay you, Steve. This is your job. This is a service of yours I’m still using. It wouldn’t be right if I freeload on you.”

Steve, for the life of him, can’t find a proper argument to counter that, and it annoys him a little bit. But he feels flattered by Bucky’s reasoning, and he nods a little bit in defeat. “Alright,” Steve says. After all, it’s not like he can tell Bucky what spend his money on. “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to. That’s all.”

“I know.” Bucky drinks from his soda again. It’s a weird Russian tin that Steve’s never seen before in his entire life. “But besides, if I don’t pay you, how will you ever get money enough to come and visit me in Russia?” He says with a wink.

At that, Steve only laughs.

 

*

 

Three months later, Steve finds himself on The Red Square in Moscow with Natasha and Bucky. Showing him around in the city where Natasha has lived all her life, and Bucky for a solid decade.

Bucky is a good host, and shows him all the touristy things, as well as mixes in a lot of smaller hidden away gems that he thinks Steve will appreciate, and Steve loves every single thing that he sees. The only thing he misses is being able to wander around while holding Bucky’s hand.

Bucky is quick to pull his hand free after the first time and tells him in a hushed voice that it’s not a bright idea to wander around in Russia, holding hands and kissing like they did in London. Most Russians, Bucky tells him, think that homosexuality shouldn’t even be accepted in society. Steve feels a bit sheepish for a moment, but remembers the bits of the news that he sees occasionally in New York.

It seems unreal that it actually is something to fear, Steve thinks. But it doesn’t take away from the vacation. They are fully able to show their admiration and care for one another when they are in Bucky’s apartment, which is small and has high ceilings and is cold, until he turns on the heating.

“It used to belong to some big name KGB officer back in the fifties or something.” Bucky tells him when Steve points out the high ceiling. “Nouveau riche without being riche and all that stuff you know? The government handed out the apartments to the officers that they deemed worthy of such a reward. So to show that it was fancy and all, there were high ceilings, for chandeliers.” Bucky waves up with his hand.

“When all of that sort of went to shit, they turned the building into apartments, walled sections off to make smaller apartments. It’s why some of the walls are just terrible plaster compared to the wallpaper, they never really bothered to do a proper job out of it. I think I got like, half of a living room or something.” Bucky laughs, his eyes are glittering as he gives Steve the history of his apartment building.

Bucky takes Steve to cathedrals and churches, and he takes him to the Pushkin Museum where Steve gets to admire European art and sculptures from the ancient eras. Sculptures he had never even dreamt of seeing. They eat such a fill of pancakes that Steve dreads he’ll have to work all year to keep that off, and Natasha teaches him a couple of phrases in Russian.

Steve is terrible, and she laughs more than she teaches him. Even Bucky seems to find it amusing and tries to help. But for the most part, he just sits and watches them giggling away. It’s just one short week that they have together, but Steve couldn’t have asked for a better trip to Moscow.

When he comes home, Sam once more has to pull up by McDonalds and listen to Steve sob as he eats his third McFlurry.

 

*

 

Bucky comes to Brooklyn next for a week. His mother is turning fifty and she’s planning a gigantic party where she invites every single soul that she can think of. So, of course Bucky has to come for that and he does so with glee. It’s during the height of summer and everything is boiling, but in between those two weeks, they make sure to spend a lot of time together.

New York is more relaxed than Moscow, and the only reason they sometimes don’t hold hands is because it’s too damn warm.

Bucky is beautiful in the summer, Steve thinks as he watches him. More so than he otherwise is. His skin tans easily into gold and light brown, his hair streaks with blonde and he has a ridiculous amount of sunglasses that he seems to switch out at every possible moment. Steve feels himself falling in love when he’s watching Bucky wander around in tops and shorts, seemingly being the only man able to pull off flip flops in the concrete jungle and not look like an idiot.

Steve offered to have Bucky stay with him for those two weeks, but he declined, saying he wanted to spend as much time as he could with his family. But he makes sure to come over a couple of nights to be with Steve as well.

They’re sitting at the kitchen table together eating breakfast. Bucky with a bowl of cereal and Steve with eggs and the newspaper. Two days before the party, that’s when Bucky asks if Steve would like to come to his mother’s birthday party. To meet his family.

Steve is equally thrilled as he is terrified by the idea, but accepts the invitation nonetheless.

Bucky truly is a momma’s-boy Steve realises the second he sees Bucky hug a smaller woman at the venue. His mother loves him just as much, patting his cheeks, telling him that he looks handsome in the outfit that he’s wearing for the evening. She’s short and stocky, a heart shaped face and glasses on her nose. Her hair is thick and brown and dressed in a flowery, yellow dress for the summer.

Bucky’s father is taller than him and broader, muscular as if he’s spent all his life carrying weights around and working with his body. His hair is licked with streaks of gray and he’s got a stern look as if he’s never laughed a day in his life, but when Bucky makes the right joke the man’s face cracks up and he laughs with thunder.

The sisters confuse Steve at first. Three women who all look the same, are of the same height and have the same shape in their face as their mother. The only thing that truly sets them apart is their clothes, so for most of the evening Steve calls Bucky’s sisters by the wrong name when he addresses them. He feels better about it though the moment he hears Bucky do the same.

He can’t help but smile, however, when Bucky introduces Steve to everyone who asks, as his boyfriend.

“Come on.” Bucky urges near eleven in the evening. The band is still playing some upbeat song. Bucky takes Steve by his hand and stands up from their chair, pulling Steve along. “Let’s dance!” He’s all bright teeth and beautiful hair.

“What? No, no, no, I can’t dance!” Steve says, alarmed, but doesn’t really put up much of a fight against Bucky. The last time he went dancing, it had been at a rave with some of his friends, and Steve isn’t even sure that counts as dancing. You don’t really need any skill for that.

“That’s alright.” Bucky says, twirling Steve around when they reach the dance floor and smiles at him. Bucky places one hand on Steve’s waist, and grips Steve’s hand firmly in his other. “Just follow my lead. I’ll teach you.” Bucky kisses him, and for the next hour Bucky spends his time trying to teach Steve to dance.

It goes… rather terrible, Steve thinks, but near the end of that hour he seems to be getting it under his thumb. He sure as hell doesn’t step on Bucky’s toes as much anymore.

When Winnie hugs him goodbye that evening, she says that she’s happy to have met him, and that she’s glad that Bucky found him.

 

*

 

They meet up for a short week in Germany in June, where Bucky is going to Rock am Ring and Steve comes along. Steve quickly finds out that it’s not his type of music. At all. But he gets to watch Bucky smile and enjoy himself, so the trip isn’t all that bad.

Steve gets to marvel at Bucky when he’s enjoying his favorite sort of music in the warm summer sun. He gets to watch Bucky nod along to the music of a smaller unknown band in the afternoon. Sitting further away from the stage and having that wonderful happy smile of his on his face.

And then Bucky looks at Steve beside him, grinning out wide. “What you looking at Rogers?”

“You.” Steve outright admits and hears Bucky laugh. Bucky leans in, shuffles closer and throws his arm around Steve’s sunburnt shoulders. Bucky kisses him.

 

*

 

Steve takes his three week late summer vacation that year in Russia. While the first trip was touristy, filled with trips left and right. The second trip is calmer, mostly because that August, Moscow is suffering from a heat wave, so neither of them feel like doing much. And secondly, Bucky still has work, so he spends a majority of the day and the night by the computer.

Steve isn’t bothered by it. He works through the books on his e-reader that he buys during the year, but never fully takes time to read. He draws the view from Bucky’s apartment, and the tree in the courtyard. He goes out to the city on his own and sits in a bar by squares, drawing the monuments or the statues. Sometimes Natasha will join him, and while they still communicate mostly through google translate, she has been taking an English class and has vastly improved since meeting her for the first time. Occasionally, when Bucky is sick of his coding, he joins them for a couple of beers.

As Steve doesn’t understand much of what Bucky works with and Natasha works in a similar field, they’re often talking to one another in Russian then. Steve doesn’t feel left out by this. He’s only happy that Bucky can complain to someone who knows his frustration, and who offers solutions that sometimes helps and sometimes doesn’t.   
Steve takes those moments in action by drawing the two of them while he listens to a conversation he doesn’t really understand. Natasha with her straight hair and blank expression is a wonderful model to draw, and she often comes out cold and collected. While Bucky is full of life, so the drawings of him are full of lines indicating of how much he actually moves in a minute. They’re two sharp contrasts, and Steve offers them the sketch when he’s pleased at them.

Bucky and Natasha halt their conversation as they take the sketch pad and look at it. Natasha’s otherwise neutral expression cracks into that of a smile. She says something in Russian to Steve, looking him right in his eyes. Now, whenever Bucky is around they don’t ask him to translate anymore, he just does.

"She’s asking if she can keep that one?” Bucky smirks to Steve, hands Natasha the sketch block. “It’s real good, that one.”

“Da,” Steve tells Natasha, the one Russian word he knows in confidence. He takes the sketch pad back and shuts it before handing it over. “Just take it home like this, so it doesn’t get crumpled or something, she can tear it out when she’s home. Give it back to me next time we see each other.”

Natasha takes the sketch pad and looks at Bucky when he talks, when he’s finished, she turns to Steve and nods her head a little. “Thank you.”

It’s a relaxing vacation. Steve returns home well and rested. He doesn’t feel the need to cry this time. Sure, he’s upset at leaving Bucky behind, but they’re making this whole long distance relationship work. He already knows that they’ll see one another again at the latest in November when Bucky is over for the holidays, and then again in December. So it’s not as if anything hangs in the air filled with insecurity.

The tickets are already booked after all.

 

*

 

Bucky surprises him in October by turning up on his doorstep unannounced. Steve’s been feeling a bit stressed, annoyed and angry with the two weeks of non-stop rain. Being unable to do anything about it, he had booked a flight and came by.

At first, Steve is a bit angry with him. He’s noticed that Bucky wasn’t online and glued to his computer like he always is. Or even answering Steve’s texts or calls. So of course he got worried. But the anger seeps away just as quickly as it filled him with, and soon they’re hugging and kissing in his hallway.

After Bucky has fucked him senseless, they order pizza and eat it together while watching a movie on Netflix. It’s only a weekend, but it’s a _perfect_ weekend. Especially seeing as Bucky’s mother invites them for dinner, too, and tells Steve that if he’s feeling blue he’s always welcome to come and visit them.

It’s in the middle of the night when Bucky wakes Steve, the very same day he has to leave again. Not that surprising, Steve has learned a long time ago now that Bucky is a tricky sleeper, who rarely gets more than five hours, if that. It’s not healthy he thinks, but Steve doesn’t feel like he can bring it up just yet. Bucky manages after all.

“Steve, Stevie, wake up.” Bucky urges him on a soft voice, pulling his arm out from under Steve’s neck and presses a kiss to his head. Steve whines a bit, he had been warm, comfortable, and in a deep sleep. To be roused from that isn’t ideal.

“What?” Steve complains, tugging the cover further up and tries his best to ignore Bucky shoving his shoulder like that. “I’m trying to sleep, leave me be.”

“I gotta tell you something,” Bucky says.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Steve asks and yawns, before rolling over to look at Bucky through sleepy eyes. He can’t make out much in the dark, but he can see that Bucky is shaking his head. Then the lamp on the nightstand turns on, and the bright light burns his eyes.

“No, I gotta tell you something.”

“What’s that, then?” Steve asks, and rolls onto his side so he faces Bucky, still holding the cover tight to him. Clearly, Bucky isn’t going to let this go. Steve yawns, and Bucky smiles brightly.

“I love you.”

It takes Steve a couple of seconds to hear the words, then an additional couple to make sense of them. He looks up to Bucky, who’s still smiling so happily down to him. Bucky loves him, _Bucky loves him._ It sends butterflies through his stomach as if he’s freaking five years old again. Steve smiles back just as happily. Suddenly he doesn’t mind being awake.

“I love you too.”

 

*

 

That November when Bucky comes over for Thanksgiving with his family, they have their first fight. Natasha comes along with Bucky for that trip, wanting to see New York for the first time in her life, and it’s on one of their free days that they head out for a little road trip to Philadelphia with her.

The fight starts as soon as they begin to reach the city and they attempt to find Independence Hall. Bucky is driving, and Steve is trying to make sense of the map that they bought in the gas station upon realising they’d need one. Steve’s out of data on his plan, and can’t use the maps app to guide them. Bucky and Natasha don’t even have roaming on, as they don’t want to come home to a ridiculous phone bill.

It’s all Bucky’s fault, Steve thinks. Bucky drives way too fast and demands instructions before he’s even gone through with the first instruction that Steve’s given him. It’s stressing him out while he’s trying to read a map. And Steve thinks Bucky is just unnecessarily harsh when telling Steve off.

It’s all Steve’s fault, Bucky thinks. Steve’s slow, and would much rather talk to Natasha when Bucky needs to know which lane drive on. He’s cranky, still jet lagged, tired from the flight, and seeing people after people. He’d much rather have stayed home. He _really_ doesn’t need happy-go-lucky music on in the car either. Not when Steve can’t seem to read a map.

“Do you want to fucking drive?!” Bucky eventually snaps when it becomes too much and gestures to the traffic ahead of them. “Do you want to fucking drive and I’ll sit there and read the map alright!? Because I can guarantee you, Steve, we will fucking get there if I do!”

“Fine!” Steve snaps back at him, crumples up the map and tosses it to the dashboard. Behind them Natasha sinks down in her seat, pulling up her phone to play Plague, Inc. “You fucking read the map then!” Steve shouts at him as Bucky pulls up the car. They get out in unison, passing one another muttering under their breath and swap seats. Steve slams the door shut and Bucky turns off the music.

Turns out, that Bucky _is_ better at reading the map. Steve is better at driving in the city. They’re both still fuming by the time they reach their destination. When  they’re finally touring Independence Hall, Bucky comes over to Steve and presses his forehead to Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, half-hearted. “I didn’t mean to shout at you like that.” _That_ , however, he sounds like he means. Steve sighs and puts his arms around Bucky, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“I’m sorry too,” he says.

When they have dinner that evening with Bucky’s parents, they tell the little tale. Winnie claps her hands together, only reminds them that they survived their fight, and that they didn’t let it ruin their day. That makes it good enough for Steve, and Bucky, too, it seems, when he feels his foot against his own.

 

*

 

Bucky comes back again for Christmas and New Years, mostly because his mother makes him. He complains to put on a show and doesn’t really mean it. Steve and George, Bucky’s father, go together to pick him up from the airport. Steve enjoys the bond and relationship he’s formed with Bucky’s family, and feels warmly welcomed.

Steve’s been invited over the holidays as well, and at first he feels a little bit torn over what to do. Every year previously, since the death of his mother and knowing Sam, he’s travelled down with him to DC to spend Christmas with Sam’s mother. Part of him worries that Sam and Darlene will be upset with him for preferring to spend it with Bucky.

Sam just rolls his eyes and tells Steve he’s already booked his tickets, because he figured that Steve would be spending it with Bucky and his family the moment he found out that he was coming back. Steve feels a little bit better at that, and all the happier when Bucky asks if Steve just won't stay at Bucky’s parent’s apartment with him in his bedroom. Rather than going back and forth every day like they both know Steve inevitably will do.

Christmas with Bucky’s family is wonderful. It’s the pajamas sort of Christmas, where everyone sits around in their sleeping gear rather than dress up nicely. And despite the fact that Bucky is nearing thirty, and all three of his sisters are above twenty, they still all sit around the Christmas tree in the morning to rip open their presents.

Bucky gets the latest Pokémon game that he’s been wanting since release and is ecstatic. The moment that all the presents are opened he plugs it in and starts to play, leaning against Steve on the couch. Steve’s given a set of new brushes and paints, and a bunch of fancy colour pencils with a small sketch pad. So while Bucky plays and tells Steve of Pokémon he wishes the game had, Steve draws them out for him.

New Years, however, _is_ spent over at Sam’s. Having only met Sam a handful of times and barely any of Steve’s friends, Bucky integrates easily. He plays the board games with them as if he’s known them for years. It makes Steve happy to see Bucky get along as well with his friends as he does.

They watch the countdown on television, and every single apartment in the building seems to count down along with it. Bucky looks up to Steve with a scrunched nose. “Want to do the sappy thing and kiss first thing in the New Year?” Bucky asks with an innocent little smile. He’s a little drunk, and his cheeks all flushed red.

“That would be absolutely wonderful.” Steve whispers to him, as if it’s supposed to be their own private little conversation in between all the celebrating friends. Bucky brushes his fingers over Steve’s lips, then slides his hand over Steve’s jaw and pulls him in. Steve takes that hand in his own, closes his eyes and kisses Bucky back.

Kissing just after Midnight on New Years Eve is a little bit cliche. Steve always used to roll his eyes at couples doing that in movies. But at that moment he truly doesn’t give a fuck.

 

*

 

Bucky stays for a week and a half after the New Year, and when he’s finally going back to Moscow, Steve is right beside him on the plane. There had been some debate about what to do for their anniversary, which is creeping up at a fast pace. It’s Bucky that voices that Steve hasn’t nearly been as many times to Russia as he has been to New York.

It’s not a topic of argument however, Bucky is also quick to point out that he’s got more reason to return to New York than Steve has to go to Moscow. Steve just has Bucky there, while Bucky has Steve and all of his family in Brooklyn.

With all that in mind, Steve decides that he’s going back with Bucky. Partially to celebrate their one year anniversary, and partially because he’s selfish and doesn’t want Bucky to go back just yet. He enjoys his company too much, and misses him when he’s not around. It’s an empty feeling waiting in between the months and weeks to see each other again face to face.

Sure there is computers and video chats, and that works well even on a sexual level. But he misses Bucky holding his hand, snuggling up to him when they’re watching television. He misses the feel of Bucky’s arm draped around his waist when they sleep and misses that snore. He misses the way that Bucky always makes stupid puns to commercials, making them even more stupid than they originally are.

So Steve will do whatever it takes to get as much from Bucky as he can. That includes tagging along with Bucky on a spontaneous choice. Bucky is only happy to have Steve coming along, and sleeps against his shoulder for the most of the flight.

Two days later, they still haven’t quite worked through the jet lag. Bucky is arguing with someone in Russian who hired him for a project, and Steve keeps dozing off to the book in his lap, which is a terrible shame. He likes the plot, he really does, but he just can’t keep his eyes open.

“I’m getting tired of this.” Bucky says in English once the call disconnects, and pushes his desk chair away from the desk. He rubs his eyes, pushing his glasses further up his forehead. Steve snaps awake again, and wonders how long he’s been dozing now. He’s cold, and he’s not quite sure if it’s the cold winter, or because he’s tired. But he _is_ sitting right next to the radiator. So it has to be because he’s tired.

“Mm?” Steve hums, puts his book mark in between the pages and shifts a bit so he can look at Bucky, he yawns. “Getting tired of what? Work? Take a break, come nap with me.” Steve extends his arm to Bucky. When he doesn’t hear the chair move he opens his eyes to look at him. Bucky’s still staring at his screen.

“No. No not work.” He sighs and pulls in closer to the desk again. He presses a key on his keyboard and watches the program that he’s making run. “Just… traveling. Being damn tired all the time. Feeling it hang in my clothes for what feels like forever. Just when I’m shaking it off, it’s back you know?”

“Yeah…” Steve sighs and drops his arm. He looks at Bucky, watches him watching the program, and then begin typing again. “I know what you mean.”

 

*

 

After their anniversary, which they celebrate in Bucky’s apartment, eating Chinese food, they agree to move in together. Bucky is tired of traveling, and Steve misses him during every single second where he can think.

The remainder of the trip is spent trying to make all the important decisions while they’re still beside one another. Steve makes it clear that while he enjoys Moscow, that he’s not prepared to move to there. He knows he’ll miss all of his friends, knows that it would be difficult for him to maintain his job, and he wants to walk down the street holding Bucky’s hand.

That wins Bucky over, and with that, they decide that Bucky is moving back to the United States. It’s the easier process anyway, Bucky says later, he’s still an American citizen, after all. But, Bucky demands that they get a place of their own. He likes Steve’s apartment sure, but it’s a one bedroom apartment and Steve works where he sleeps. It’s small, and cramped when they’re both in it together.

And, Bucky says, they should do a trial period.

“The longest we’ve been together without being apart is like what, what we got going on now? A month? That doesn’t really say much. Most of our relationship has been on computers. This is a big move, and don’t take me wrong, Stevie, I want to, I really do want to move in with you. But, I need to be sure that after two months we won’t absolutely hate each other, then I’ll have to wind up going to my parents place or what not. Know what I mean?” Bucky explains as he’s leaning against the counter. Beside him on the stove, the sauce that he’s making for their dinner is sputtering, in the oven is salmon.

“I get that.” Steve shoves his hand in the bag of chips and takes out a handful of them. “So what do you suggest? Because the only way we’ll find out is by living with one another.”

“Well, I can pack up my work and work anywhere. On any notice. So what I’m suggesting is that when you head back to New York, I come with you again. But with a larger suitcase. I still have this apartment on my name. But I stay with you and only you for three months. Well, I’ll still go out and stuff, mom will kill me if I don’t drop in to say hi. But, we treat it as if we’re living together. And if we still feel the same after….” Bucky pushes his glasses further up his nose and squints at the calendar that hangs on the wall. “... on the twenty-first of May. Then we make it official, then we move in with one another. And all I do is just, come back here, get my shit in order, sell some crap, pack some crap, and I come back, and we find a place of our own. Figure out a budget, what we’re looking for, all that stuff that seems fun until you actually do it.”

“Okay.” Steve’s smiling at that. He nods a couple of times and puts some more chips in his mouth. “Yeah, alright, that sounds like a good plan to me.”

“Yeah?” Bucky is grinning at that, excited about the prospect. He claps his hands together, takes the two steps over to Steve on the kitchen chair and bends down to press a kiss to his lips. “Next thing you know, we’ll be making a five year plan and a ten year plan.”

Steve laughs at that, then leans back in his chair. Bucky steals some chips from Steve’s hand. “The sauce is burning, love.” Steve points out, rather dryly.

“Shit!” Bucky curses and instantly turns back to the stove. Steve begins to laugh.

 

*

 

Having Bucky with him at nearly all hours of the day is wonderful, Steve thinks. Sur,e his apartment is crammed with the two of them. Steve cleared out the table that he uses for his art work and lowered it flat for Bucky, so he has some place to work on his coding on at least. Steve sticks to the other end of that room and paints during his free days.

It’s a tight fit, Bucky’s corner, Steve’s corner, the desk with all of Steve’s streaming equipment and his bed. There’s only one small bathroom and one small kitchen. So a lot of time they’re fighting for every little bit of space and comfort that they can have. But somehow, they manage not to drive each other insane.

Sure, there were some moments when Steve wanted to sleep and all he could hear was the clack of the keyboard and Bucky’s fingers and he snapped at him. But in return, Bucky is the one snapping at him when Steve gets up earlier in the morning and moves to make breakfast, while Bucky is trying to get his third hour of sleep that night.

It doesn’t take long for their trial period to reach a moment where they both joke _when we get our new place_ and a ludicrous demand or luxury they both know they can’t afford. It’s a way to relieve tension however, when they’re both frustrated at trying to cook in the small kitchen. Bucky would take a deep breath, smile and say _when we get our own place we’re getting a private chef so we never have to step foot in a kitchen again_ or _when we get our own place we’re getting four bathrooms, four bathtubs and four showers so I know for certain I will never have to share shower space again_.

It’s funny really, and they laugh about it every time.

The biggest hitch however, was what to do when Steve had work. At first Bucky started going over to his parents apartment for a couple of hours until Steve called him and said he was finished. That didn’t sit right with Steve, Bucky shouldn’t have to leave just because Steve had work. And truth to be told, Steve missed seeing Bucky’s name amongst the online list. Bucky even admitted to missing watching.

The problem wasn’t Steve’s job. Bucky was still supportive of that, and not jealous in the least. The problem was the lack of space for Steve’s job, which had worked well for the time when he lived alone.

“You know,” Steve says one of those evenings when he’s getting his hair ready for the evening. He’s already standing in his boxer briefs and top that he usually wears. Bucky hums from his computer, not really looking up. Steve doesn’t mind, he can watch him from the reflection in the mirror. “You can always stay home, you can always just… watch?” He suggests, raising his shoulders a little bit. He sees Bucky halt what he’s doing, then turns to look at Steve.

“What? And throw one dollar bills at you instead of dropping tokens?” Bucky jokes with a grin. Steve snorts and rolls his eyes. He takes the lipstick from the wardrobe and puts just a touch of it on his lips. Bucky had been so amazed when he had learned that trick.

“I’m not quite sure how the other viewers will appreciate that. But, if you want to throw dollar bills at me, you better run down to the ATM now,” Steve jokes in return. Bucky snorts and turns his chair so he can look at Steve.

“I think… I think I’d very much like to watch. But!” Bucky glances to his computer again. “When we get our own place we’re getting a two bedroom so you have one bed where you can work in peace. And another where we sleep in.”

“And a living room.” Steve chimes in. Bucky raises his finger.

“And a living room,” he agrees, and clicks away on the computer again.

Bucky does stay home that evening and watches Steve stream live. It’s a little bit distracting, but in a good way. It’s arousing for him, and he can’t help but glance over to him time over time and wish that Bucky would crack and just come over and fuck him already. But with the resilience of steel, Bucky goes nowhere. He remains in his chair and watches Steve with dark eyes. He doesn’t even touch himself, but Steve can see his hardon in his sweatpants.

It’s not until Steve finishes for the night, he’s relaxing and his viewers begin to trickle away that Bucky comes over and kisses him.

“That was fantastic, sweetheart.” Bucky whispers to him, and presses a kiss underneath his ear. It makes Steve shiver and giggle a little bit. Bucky is stroking his hand lightly over Steve’s chest. “Can I fuck you?”

“Do you really have to ask?” Steve asks, happy that he finally is getting Bucky. A lot later than he was hoping for, but better late than never. Bucky kisses his neck, then his throat, then his chest, and then he’s licking the cum of Steve’s chest. Steve takes a sharp breath in, and looks down at him.

“We should turn of the camera, it’s still running.” Steve swallows, his tongue feels thick. He knows that his viewers will have dwindled down, just as well as he knows that Bucky licking his chest like that will only attract more viewers. There might be one or two complaining that they’re not over at the couples cam section, but the rest won't care. They’ll just be happy to see more to jerk off to.

Bucky glances to the computer, to the camera, and then back to Steve with a grin. “Leave it.” Bucky comes up to kiss him. “Give them something else to watch, maybe we can earn you some more tips.”

It’s just about one of the hottest things that Bucky’s ever said to him. For a moment it does make his mind stop working. Steve’s always had a thing for being watched, he’s always been honest with that, it’s why his choice of career works out so well for him. But he’s never once been with a partner willing to fuck him while others are watching. It gets him hard in an instant.

Bucky’s all but happy to help Steve out with that. And in the end when they’re both spent and dazed, they laugh at sinnamonRose sending them multiple emoticons with stars for eyes.

Having sex in front of the camera for ten minutes effectively doubles Steve’s earnings for that evening. He reaches a record high amount of viewers. That is all without even listening to their demands.

 

*

 

On the morning of April the twenty-first, Bucky asks Steve with a dopey smile if he still wants to move in together. Steve, of course, says yes.

The next two months are a flurry of activity. Bucky goes back to Russia for one of those to clear out his apartment. Sell some crap, pack some crap, as he says. Natasha pretends to be angry with him for a week when he tells her he’s moving back to New York, and when the fake anger seeps away she comes over to Bucky’s apartment and starts to stake claim on Bucky’s stuff that he was going to sell anyway.

She walks out with a microwave, two bottles of vodka, some Ikea shelves, an old PlayStation, a bunch of coat hangers, a Buddha lamp and a new desktop, cleared especially for her.

The rest, she helps Bucky sell and pack down. What he doesn’t get sold, she takes to her place and keeps selling. Bucky breaks the lease to his apartment, stays with Natasha for a couple of days, sends five moving boxes on their way to New York and arrives before them.

For a good month, Steve’s apartment is already more cramped than it is. Bucky lives out of boxes, and eventually they both get tired enough of it to dump them in Bucky’s old bedroom with his parents. Which… essentially results with Bucky trying to shove more stuff from said bedroom and into the already filled to the brim boxes.

For three weeks on end they tour the city for apartments, trying to find something within their price range, which is quite liberal. Steve makes good money, and he’s surprised to learn that Bucky breaches into six digits with what he makes for his job a year. At that Bucky just laughs, and smacks Steve on his arm.

“How else did you think I could afford paying you like that three times a week? Besides, I’m excellent at what I do, thank you very much.” Bucky comments, and Steve realises that it’s true. Steve had at least earned $500 for every week that he streamed because of Bucky. It’s fun how he never really thought about it before.

One apartment has thin walls, so they decline. Another promises a view of the Brooklyn bridge but that is only if they stick their heads out of a window. Another is just too small. Another one doesn’t allow pets, Steve looks at Bucky surprised when he tells him no on that one, and all Bucky does is shrug and say _for the future maybe_ . Another one actually _is_ too expensive, and another one just doesn’t feel right. Another one they find out a murder had been committed in one of the bedrooms. In another there’s a rat infestation out in the hallway. Rats the size of beagles.

So apartment hunting is an adventure, and Sam laughs at their misfortune. Natasha just plainly says she’s had a witch put a spell on Bucky and that’s why he’s been filled with bad luck. Bucky just rolls his eyes at that and tells Steve she’s only joking, but Steve isn’t too sure about that.

And then… then they find an apartment that seems to be perfect.

It has a nice view, this one actually does let them see Brooklyn Bridge. It allows pets. It’s got three bedrooms, which they both agree might be best. One for them, one for Steve’s work and a third one for when people stay over. They can't really have them sleep in the bed where Steve works. The kitchen is spacious, and they can both move around in it without bumping into one another. There’s one big bathroom, space for a living room. It has bright, natural light, it’s a new build, so they’d be the first tenants. They even would have a small balcony.

“What do you think?” Steve asks Bucky as they’re standing out on that balcony, out of earshot for the realtor that’s probably sick of them by now. It’s warm outside, the summer now well on its way.

Bucky takes a drag from his cigarette and nods a couple of times, then exhales. “It’s expensive but,” Bucky looks to the pamphlet that the realtor had given him. “It’s not like we can’t pay it. The only reason it’s above our budget is because we got too stingy.” Bucky looks over his shoulder and to the apartment. “It’s nice though, has a proper adult feel to it. It’s clean, spacious, walls are boring as hell though in white, we’ll have to do something about that.”

“We can repaint, or put up some wallpaper. She did say we could do that, within limits,” Steve reminds Bucky. He also looks over his shoulder to the interior of the apartment, the kitchen, the open living room. All the way down to the hall with the black door that had let them in. Two bedrooms on one side. The third bedroom, the smallest one is on the other side, the bathroom beside it.

“We could,” Bucky agrees, looks ahead of himself again. “I bet that if it wasn’t for that bridge we could knock the price down another $500 a month,” Bucky says with a chuckle. Steve rolls his eyes and snorts.

“You’re probably right,” Steve agrees. “This one is nice though, I gotta good feeling about it.”

“Yeah?” Bucky looks at him, then he smiles widely. “Want to tell her we’ll take it, and she can finally be rid of us?”

“Yeah,” Steve nods, feeling the warmth in his chest. He smiles to Bucky. “Yeah, let’s tell her we’ll take it.”

 

*

 

At almost exactly eight thirty in the evening, Steve settles on the bed before his camera and the computer. He signs into his account on Chaturbate and clicks the button that starts his stream.

The turnout is low at first, but this doesn’t really surprise Steve. He’s still sitting fully clothed on the bed. It’s just a top and his boxer briefs, but in the sex industry that counts as fully clothed. He adjusts his hair one last time and now in hindsight wishes he had put on a little bit more lipstick now as he sees his image on the screen.

Then viewers trickle in. Most of them are names that he’s never seen before, but there are a few that he recognizes. SinnamonRose who communicates almost entirely in emoticons sends him a waving one.

“Hi Rose.” Steve says and waves to her with a chuckle. “How are you today, feeling good?” He asks her. She responds with a happy smiley and a thumbs up. “Good, that makes me happy to hear. And how is everyone else this evening? You’re all good?” Steve asks, and he hears the vague sound of Bucky loading the dishwasher in the kitchen. He smiles fondly at it before he turns his focus back to his viewers.

“Only so-so Danny? Man, I’m sorry to hear that, maybe I can help you feel a bit better by the end of this evening, what do you think?” Steve suggests with a wink to the camera. All he needs is one customer willing to admit their day was shit, and Steve can get everything started.

**Danny1982: That would be wonderful President**

“Well then, my lovely folks,” Steve shifts a bit on the bed, perks himself up a little bit and claps his hands together. “What will we do this evening to help Danny out of his rut huh? What would help with that?” Steve smirks to the camera, and isn’t all that surprised when the suggestions starts piling in.

“Oh, you want my hand down my pants huh? We’re doing dressed for now? Kinky.” Steve lets out a little laugh, presses his hand against his stomach, slides it down slowly down his abdomen, and just as his fingers reach the band of his boxer briefs. “Like this? You know I’m going to need a little bit more motivation than just you guys telling me.”

That sends the sound of the first token drop off.

“There we go,” Steve mutters on a darker tone and slides his hand down into his underwear and he moans. He moans when he touches himself, and he moans when they let him jerk himself off. He strips out of his top without their prompting; it’s too warm to keep it on.

For the next hour, Steve’s loyal viewers essentially torture him. Three times they bring him close, and three times they pay him to stop. So he’s warm, he’s sensitive, he’s shivering and he’s begging them for some sort of release. He’s already missing the pressure of the dildo inside of him. He could give it to himself, really, how are they going to stop him from wherever they are in the world? But where’s the fun in that? And Steve prides himself on his show.

But, on the bright side of it all, they’ve made Danny feel better about his shitty day, and that was all Steve set out to do. Rope him in, have someone else who would click his stream every time they logged on, and saw that Steve was available.

“Man, you guys are being downright evil to me tonight,” Steve chuckles, shuts his eyes and takes a shaky breath. He’s lying on his back, cock still in hand, stroking himself lazily, desperate for some form of touch that sends pleasure through his body. Tonight’s show isn’t going to be that long, he already feels that. “C’mon please, please, please let me finish, please, let me cum. I want to feel it on my chest,” He whines. Some of them start to type.

**HandyDandy: Bring in Red!**

“Bring in Red?” Steve repeats, amused, he bites his lip. He loves how Bucky has become a part of his job. While not an active participant in it, at times he would join in upon request. And at times when they both felt like it, they started a new stream of their own in the couples category. Bucky doesn’t mind it at all.

“I _could_ bring in Red.” He tells them, pretends to think about. “But you know, you know, Red only comes if you make it worth his while,” Steve tells them. Not strictly the truth. Bucky fucks Steve for free on a daily basis, and doesn’t mind doing so for the camera either. But it is Bucky who told Steve he should fish for tokens when they ask for him.

**Rick_the_bear has dropped 1750 tokens.**

Steve blows a kiss to the camera at that, and reaches for his phone. He’s still stroking himself. He finds Bucky at the top of his most recent calls and pushes the name to call him back up. He puts up speakers, so they know he’s not fucking them around.

Bucky picks up on the third ring. “ _lo?”_

“They want Red to come in,” Steve half sings to him. “They want Red to come in and fuck me senseless, isn’t that what you all want?” He asks them. HandyDandy probably had something else in mind, but all that’s needed is for Steve to plant a seed in the heads of the others. Sure enough it works. He’s seeing the thumbs up in the chat.

Bucky is silent for a second. _“Be right in.”_ and then he hangs up. Steve tosses the phone away from him, shuts his eyes and squeezes himself. He moans, arching his back a little.

“Can’t wait for his dick inside of me,” Steve murmurs to them. He slides his hand other hand down, past his cock and in between his legs. Pressing a finger against his hole and finds that it slides in with ease, still lubed up from the toy, still relaxed, ready to go. He slides in another and moans again.

The door opens and there is Bucky, leaning into the doorway and just watching him. Steve smirks at him.

“So they want me to fuck you huh?” Bucky asks, pushing himself away from the doorway, and over to the bed. Over to Steve and kneels down in between his legs, strokes the palms of his hands over Steve’s thighs. “Look at you, you’ve all made him ready for me,” Bucky tells Steve’s viewers, without even looking at them. The viewers all know that the moment that Bucky steps into the picture, they lose control. Bucky will only do what they suggest, if he _likes_ what they suggest.

Bucky moves his hand in between Steve’s legs. Steve slides out his fingers and moments later feels himself being filled again with Bucky’s. He moans, grinding his hips against them to feel more of him.

“So, so worked up.” Bucky says softly, the palm of his hand slides from Steve’s thigh to his cock, where he takes over stroking from Steve. Steve moves his hands above his head, gripping a hold of the cover and whimpering a bit. “You just want me to get right to fucking you, don’t you?”

“God yes,” Steve breathes out in response again, and moans when Bucky twists his fingers inside of him. He bites down on his lip, letting out another whimper. “I want you to fuck me, and I want you to cum inside of me, I want to feel your cum seep out of me.”

“Is that what they want though?” Bucky asks and nods towards the camera, Steve doesn’t bother to look, but he can tell that Bucky is reading the comments. A ding confirms a token drop. “You’re in luck, seems like it’s exactly what they want.”

Bucky removes his fingers and Steve whines, even if he gets the glory of a first view vision at seeing Bucky pull off his shirt. Slide back on the bed and pull down his sweats and underwear. He’s already hard, must have gotten so while watching Steve. He gets back on the bed, spreads Steve’s legs more apart.

Them both getting tested was the best idea of their relationship. Steve loves it when Bucky can fuck him bareback. He doesn’t care about the mess after, he finds it erotic. Bucky lines himself up, and Steve can feel the head of Bucky’s cock just brushing by his hole. He spots the small, miniscule nod that Bucky gives him, asking for permission, and nods in return.

Bucky pushes in, and Steve both moans and shivers from anticipation and pleasure. After all this time, Bucky’s thick cock still gets him down to a quivering mess. Still manages to find a way for his brain to just stop functioning.

“Oh… oh, oh, so good Red, _fuck_ ,” Steve breathes, feeling how Bucky pushes fully into him, slowly and taking his time. And then he pulls back, before thrusting back into him again, harder this time. And again, and again, and again.

Steve’s whimpering, moaning and out of breath by the time that Bucky finds the pace that he likes. The one where he’s pushing into Steve thrust by thrust and fucking him into the bed. Leaving no time to think, no time to breathe and all that Steve can do is writhe in the enjoyment and pleasure and laugh and… and watch Bucky in his blue eyes.

The closest he ever feels to a person is when he and Bucky have sex, like this and slowly. And when Bucky holds him at night when they sleep, whispering parts of his dream to Steve to listen along to.

With his viewers having driven him so close to his orgasm earlier, and now Bucky thrusting away at him, looking at him with such love and adoration and _lust_ , it doesn’t take that long. “Fuck B-” Steve bites down on his lower lip to prevent himself from calling out Bucky’s name, Bucky’s only request, to save his anonymity and remain Red, as he cums over his chest. He clenches the cover above his head so hard that his fingers hurt, and when he’s spent, he shivers and sinks back down on the bed.

Bucky’s breathing heavily, easing up on his thrusts, but staying inside Steve as far as he can while letting Steve ride out his orgasm. The moan becomes a whimper, and then a shaky breath… and then… Steve just relaxes, and laughs.

Bucky joins him moments later, a bright, light chuckle as he strokes his hand down Steve’s side. “You good, love?” Bucky asks him, licking his lips. Steve hums in response, stretches out the muscles in his back a little bit and takes Bucky’s hand in his own. He strokes his thumb at the base of Bucky’s wrist.

“I’m so fucking happy right now, you’ve got no idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, many many thanks to Birdjay for all the help and support that they've given me for all this fic, and thank all of you for reading it. I hope you've all enjoyed it as much as I have writing it.


End file.
